A Brother's Promise
by delovlies
Summary: "You're Kili's big brother, and you promised me you would take care of him. Being a brother isn't always easy, but it's your job to take care of him, always." Fili makes a promise to protect Kili and that promise could cost him everything. Even his brother. BOTFA AU because it needs fixing. No Slash
1. Chapter 1

"Please, Mamma? _Pleeaaase_?" Fili begged, widening his eyes and screwing up his face in an effort to look like Kili when he wanted something—since he usually got it.

Dis chuckled. "You are not your brother, Fili, and although you do an awfully good impression, it doesn't quite have the same effect as Kili."

Fili relaxed, suddenly wondering if he should have sent Kili to beg Dis instead of him. But she wouldn't have listened to him, although she might have given in. It had been his idea, after all. "We just want to go to Mr. Bofur's shop. He said he had something new to show Kili and me. I know you or Uncle Thorin usually take us, but he's at the forges and you're busy…" he trailed off, and then added helpfully, "I promise we won't get into any trouble, and I'll make sure Kili doesn't get lost or break anything."

Dis didn't say anything. Fili remembered the last time Thorin had taken them to look at Bofur's toys and shuddered at the disastrous memory. "That's a lot more than Uncle can do! Remember last time when-"

Dis held up a hand. "Oh, yes, Fili, I remember. Unfortunately."

"So we can go?" Fili said, trying to suppress his excitement and be mature but hardly able to keep from bouncing up and down on his toes.

Dis sighed. "I suppose. But you have to promise me something."  
"What?" Dis didn't say anything to respond. "It's not bad, is it?"

"No, Fili. But it's a very important responsibility. You're Kili's big brother, and you promised me you would take care of him. Being a brother isn't always easy, but it's your job to take care of him, always. It's more than making sure he doesn't get lost or break anything. Can you promise you'll do that for me?"  
Fili nodded. "Yes, Mamma, I promise."

"Then you two can go." She relented. Fili whooped and ran off to tell Kili.

It was promise he would never break.

* * *

Thorin was their king, and he had ordered them stand down. And they would follow their king.

Kili could only feel a crushing guilt. He and Fili, the heirs of Erebor, told to stand down and watch helplessly as their kin were attacked. Thorin had ordered it. They would not help Dain, they would stay in the mountain and do nothing. It was not right not to help. It was against everything Thorin had ever stood for. But, to Kili, it was starting to seem like Thorin wasn't even there anymore. At least the Thorin he knew.

He would always love Thorin, always look up to him, and always follow him. But this wasn't Thorin.

Thorin was gone, but the sense of limbo and endless waiting for _something_ to happen was left. Dwalin had followed Thorin, and come back a short time later, refusing to say anything about their encounter. Kili couldn't keep still. He stood, he sat, he paced and turned to look at every noise. Fili had only been able to sit numbly, hearing the sounds of the battle below, and avoid the eyes of the others. He loved Thorin, and he would obey him, but he was still ashamed of him. The guilt was overwhelming to them both.

It seemed forever to Kili until he heard noises behind them. He jumped to his feet, hoping beyond hope that it was Thorin. Maybe he was coming to reinforce his orders, but Kili didn't care. He wanted Thorin back with him.

When he realized that it was Thorin, the first thing he noticed was that the crown was gone. Kili took a step forward, trying to formulate his thoughts into words. He could sense Fili looking at him, sense his brother's warning of caution. For a moment, he closed his mouth, but he couldn't keep it in. The guilt, the shame, and anger at being told to stand down bubbled up inside and he let it out.

"I will not hide behind walls of stone while others fight our battles for us!" he burst out, his anger welling up with each word. Thorin's expression didn't change. Kili felt a lump in his throat. "It's not in my blood, Thorin." He choked out quietly, suddenly fighting back tears and an onslaught of emotion. He couldn't say anything else. _It's not in your blood either, Thorin. You wouldn't do this if you were yourself. _He willed Thorin to understand.

Thorin drew closer and suddenly, a hint of a smile appeared on his face. "No, it is not." He reached for Kili and pulled him into half a hug, holding tightly to his arms. "We are sons of Durin. And Durin's Folk do not flee from a fight." Kili felt his lip quivering. Thorin looked at him gently, his own eyes damp, and he realized his uncle was back. And he was proud of Kili. Their foreheads touched and Kili closed his eyes. It meant everything. He could feel Thorin's love, his pride and his sorrow at having betrayed them all. Thorin was the father he had never had. He squeezed Kili's arm as he quickly schooled his features. Thorin turned to face the others as Kili felt a rush of excitement. He grinned as Thorin spoke. "I have no right to ask this of any of you... but will you follow me one last time?"

The other dwarves stood, and the look on their faces was enough for affirmation. They would follow their king to whatever end.

Kili felt a rush of pride to be Thorin's nephew. He had moved Thorin. It didn't matter what the last few days had been like. He forgave Thorin instantly, more proud to stand alongside him than he had ever been.

Fili had never seen his brother so still. Kili didn't say a word. He just stood, still a statute, eyes glued in front of him. He was scared. They all were. For him and Kili, it would be the first time they actually would fight in a real battle. Kili may have had the courage to move Thorin, but he was scared now.

Fili felt only relief to be going into battle. They would help, they would finally help.

Dwalin, Nori and Gloin had gone up to break their barricade. The others remained. Thorin walked among his men, checking their weapons and giving encouragement. Fili felt his uncle's hand on his shoulder, a gentle squeeze. Thorin, the king, could show no more emotion than that. But Fili could see his eyes were wet. Thorin was proud of them, and that was more than enough.

Next to him, Kili was tightening the straps on his boots. He didn't say a word, but Fili could hear him breathing hard. His earlier excitement had vanished.

"Kili." He said, and his brother turned to look at him with wide eyes. Fili stepped closer and lowered his voice. "It's going to be fine. This is what we've always wanted—to follow Thorin into battle, in glory and renown."  
Kili swallowed. "Yes, I know."

"There is no shame in fear, little brother." Fili offered. He put his hand on Kili's shoulder. "I won't leave you. I'll stay close to you, you won't be alone. We fight better together anyways." _And I will protect you, Kee, _he thought, but decided not to add it.

"Then we won't have to worry about each other. We can protect each other." Kili said, and Fili felt another surge of pride.

"I'm glad you're with me today. I'm proud to fight by your side, Kili." He coaxed a smile out of his brother."But please promise me you won't do anything

that—"

"You wouldn't do?"

"That will take you from me." A lump rose in Fili's throat and he clenched his jaw and looked away.

"Alright." Kili whispered. He bit his lip, and Fili turned to go. Before he could get more than one step, Kili grabbed him and pulled him into a crushing embrace. He squeezed Fili so tightly he could barely breathe, but Fili hugged him back just as tightly. He heard Kili's faint whisper, "Love you, Fee. I promise I'll be safe."  
"Love you too, little brother. Even if you are taller than me." Fili whispered back.

Then it seemed to him that Kili stood up straighter, looking tall and brave, and every bit the prince he was.

* * *

They went to join Thorin, who was waiting for the right moment to charge into battle. They didn't have to be told where their positions were. Kili on his right, Fili on his left. Fili's stomach was a bundle of nerves, but Kili seemed excited again. His eyes gleamed.

The others had returned, the thirteen dwarves went into a rough formation. Behind them, Dori stood behind Ori, his knuckles white as he gripped Ori's shoulder. He was silent for once. As Fili watched, Ori reached up and put his hand over Dori's. Nori stood behind them, also wordless. Gloin had pulled out the pictures of his wife and Gimli, and was gazing at them as if it might be the last time. Oin went to Kili and fussed over him, making sure his leg would be alright, despite Kili's frequent attempts to tell him that Tauriel had healed him completely. Balin was behind Thorin, also surveying the battlefield. The two dwarves needed to words to communicate. Bofur slipped off his hat, gave it one last longing look and set it aside. Bifur stood next to him, his hand comfortingly on Bofur's shoulder. Bombur had already taken the ancient horn above the barricade.

"Fili, Kili." Fili turned around at his name. Dwalin was behind them, his face a mask, void of emotion. "I'm proud of you, lads. I've trained to well. I think you're best fighters here, besides me. And Thorin." His face hinted at a smile. "I saw you when you were just bairnes. I can hardly recognize you now." He abruptly pulled them both into an embrace, and for the first time Fili realized his eyes were wet as a tear trickled down his cheek. It seemed that the other dwarves knew something that he and Kili didn't. War was dangerous. This could be their last meeting. Dwalin could be saying goodbye. He squeezed his eyes shut as Dwalin pulled away. The thought of his teacher dead was enough to create a lump in his throat.

"It's not like we're going to die, Mister Dwalin." Kili said, but Fili heard a catch in his voice.

Dwalin didn't say anything; he just looked at them sadly before whispering, "Aye, let's hope you're right." He took up his position behind Kili.

Thorin turned around to face his nephews. He had obviously overheard the exchange, and his jaw was clenched tightly as he looked at them.

"You boys are a credit to me." He whispered, his voice thick. Fili didn't think he had ever heard Thorin sound so vulnerable. Surely Thorin didn't think he would face death too. "I am very proud to have you fight by my side. Your mother would be too." He looked both of them in the eye and took a deep breath. "Remember your promise to her. Come back to her, little ones." His voice lowered so much that Fili barely heard the term of endearment. Thorin hadn't called them that since Kili was still in diapers. He put a steady hand on both their shoulders, looking at them as if he might never see them again.

It dawned on Fili that Thorin and Dwalin might not fear their death in battle, but his death, and Kili's death. They and Ori were the most inexperienced fighters. They had never fought in a battle against an actual army. He and Kili might be warriors, but they hadn't actually seen war.

Balin stepped forward. "Thorin, it's time." He said quietly.

Thorin nodded, his gaze never leaving his nephews. "Be safe." He murmured, before turning to face the front. He drew his sword, and the others followed suit. As Thorin raised his weapon and prepared to charge, Fili looked over at his brother. The fear was still there, but so was the excitement. He was secretly glad Kili was scared. It might keep him from doing something reckless. Kili returned the look, and in the brief moment of eye contact, the brothers communicated more than words could say. Fili nodded, and Kili returned the gesture.

They were ready.

**Thanks for reading! I know this is pretty movie verse, but we'll be out of that soon. Please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

Ravenhill loomed out of the mists, threatening, remote and desolate. Fili lowered his sword and allowed himself a moment to rest. They'd dispatched the orcs nearby, for now. He glanced at Kili. His brother's face was flushed, but other than that, he seemed fine. Next to him, Thorin's eyes frantically searched the towers. Dwalin stood alert, his back to the others.

Thorin's eyes flickered to him, and Fili joined him. He saw nothing—no light, no movement, nothing moved behind the shroud of mist. "Where is he? It looks empty. I think Azog has fled." He whispered, hardly daring to think it might be true.

Kili glanced up too, but his reaction was the same as Fili's.

Thorin, however, never took his eyes from the tower. He had a death-grip on his sword, his knuckles white from gripping it so hard. Fili hardly recognized the look of sheer and utter determination in his eyes. He was out for blood. Azog's blood. Nothing could jeopardize his mission. He would avenge the deaths of his family, or die trying.

Thorin shook his head barely. "I don't think so." He turned to the other three, setting a warm hand on Fili's shoulder and doing the same to Kili. "Fili, take your brother. Scout out the towers. Keep low and out of sight. If you see something, report back, do not engage."

The brothers nodded, and Fili saw a flash of fear flicker across Kili's face. He looked back at his uncle and saw the same fear mirrored across his face. "Do you understand?" he continued, his hand just barely squeezing Fili's shoulder. Thorin was afraid to lose them, Fili realized. The three of them, and Dis, were the only family any of them had left. For a second, he had to resist the urge to burst into tears and cling desperately to his uncle until the danger was past.

"Yes, uncle." Kili whispered. Fili nodded.

Thorin let go and stepped back, and Fili reached for Kili's arm. Together, the two of them began to slink through the fog. They had only gone a few hundred paces when they both heard the distinctive clash of steel behind them.  
Kili whirled around, but Fili kept his iron grip on his brother. "Uncle!" the younger called out quietly. Fog and mist veiled their vision, but they could clearly hear the sounds of battle behind them.

"Shhh, Kili!" Fili hissed as Kili struggled against his grip. "Thorin told us to scout out the towers. If he needs help, he'll call us back."

He loosened his grip and Kili stilled. He saw the raw fear in his eyes. "Thorin and Dwalin can take care of anything that comes their way." He added.

Kili nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

"Thorin, we have company." Dwalin's voice startled the king out of his reverie. His eyes had been fixed on Ravenhill, but no movement or light had showed since Fili and Kili had left.

Dwalin raised his sword as Thorin turned. He saw about a hundred goblin mercenaries coming towards them quickly. He shot one last, desperate glance into the fog to where his nephews had vanished. He hoped more goblins weren't coming from that direction. Dwalin saw his action and spoke up quickly. "We can take care of 'em. The lads'll be fine."

Thorin set his jaw and raised his sword as he and Dwalin charged towards the fray. The clash of steel rang out, and several goblins were quickly dispatched. Thorin had had enough of goblins to last him a lifetime, it seemed.

He had just ran one of them through when he heard a echoing cry from Ravenhill. _Uncle!_

It was Kili, but the cry was of concern for him. He and Fili weren't in danger yet. They were old enough to take care of themselves, although every impulse told Thorin to run to their aid, bring them back and take them as far away from the bloodshed and killing as possible. He tightened his grip on his sword. No, not yet. They had proven themselves time and time again to him, but he saw that they both wanted more. And they could move quicker and quieter than him and Dwalin anyway.

He tried to reason with himself for sending them to scout out the towers, but he still had a bad fee ling about it. He could only hope that they would be safe.

* * *

There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. The towers were deserted, empty. But something told Fili that, despite what his eyes told him, something was here. His stomach was a bundle of nerves, and he and Kili jumped at every sound. Every time they scraped against the wall or kicked a rock, they both were startled. His heart pounded against his chest so loud he was convinced Kili could hear it. As they went in further, weapons raised for attack and both of them checking their back, the sense of panic and claustrophobia only increased. Fili almost jumped out of his skin when Kili grabbed the back of his shirt and hung on like he was a lifeline. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." Kili whispered. Fili shook his head to brush it off and put his arm around his little brother.

Thorin was right. They knew nothing of the world. Both of them were absolutely petrified. Kili's wide eyes roamed every surface as they went deeper. Kili could feel his brother shaking and knew he was as well.

_Thump. _

Both of them stopped short. _Thump. _This time, the echo of voices met their ears. Fili drew in a breath and held it, trying not to even breathe loud. Kili's grip on his coat tightened.

The sound faded away and they didn't hear it again for several moments. Reluctantly, Fili pressed forward. There _was _something here.

They turned a corner and Fili heard the thumping again. He glanced at Kili, but he gave no sign that he'd heard it as well.

What was he doing? He couldn't take Kili further into danger! Who knew what could be around the next corner?

Fili stopped and let go of Kili. He put his hand on Kili's chest and willed his stubborn little brother to understand. "Stay here, Kee. Search the lower levels. I'll keep going this way."  
"No, we can't split up!" Kili whispered back, his voice pitched higher than normal. "I'm not leaving you!"

Fili shook his head. "You have to. When you finish, go back to Thorin. I'll be there waiting." They locked eyes, trying to find understanding in each other's eyes. "Remember, stay out of sight and do not engage." He attempted to smile. "Don't worry about me. I've got this."

Kili finally nodded quickly and stepped back. Fili saw one more glance of his brother and then he disappeared down the passageway.

* * *

Thorin kept his gaze trained on the tower. He didn't see any signs of life—from Azog or otherwise. He and Dwalin had made short work of the Goblins and were left alone to wait for Fili and Kili to come back.

Dwalin scraped his boot on the ground and shifted his axe to his other hand. "Where is that Orc filth?"

Before Thorin could answer he heard scuffling behind him and turned just in time to see Bilbo stumble towards them.

Thorin sucked in air. He'd completely forgotten about their burglar, but seeing him again, even here, brought a rush of relief to his chest.

"Thorin!" Bilbo panted, putting something in his pocket.

"Bilbo, what are you d—"

Bilbo cut him off, holding out his hand. "You have to leave here, now! Azog has another army, attacking from the north. This watchtower will be completely surrounded; there'll be no way out."

Thorin felt the air go out of him. _Fili. Kili. I've sent them to their death. _

"We are so close. That Orc scum is in there. I say we push on." Dwalin said, fingering the axe hilt.

They were close. Closer than Thorin had ever been before. They could kill Azog and avenge the deaths of all the dwarves he'd killed. There was nothing Thorin wanted more in the world.

Except his nephews, safe and sound.

"No! That's what he wants. He wants to draw us in. This is a trap." He turned to Dwalin. "Find Fili and Kili, call them back."

Bilbo looked around as if noticing for the first time that the princes were absent.

"Thorin, are you sure about this?" Dwalin asked. "Azog is in there, I know it. We ca—"

"Do it. We live to fight another day." Thorin interrupted. "Some things are more important than vengeance."

Dwalin nodded and ran off in the direction of the towers.

It seemed like one of the hardest choices he'd ever had to make. But for Thorin, it was suddenly. His nephews were worth more than getting revenge.

As Dwalin faded from sight, Thorin trained his gaze on the tower, looking for any sign of them or the impending army. Part of him longed to go in Dwalin's stead, but he'd quickly decided against it. If he saw Azog, he was afraid that he might forget why he was there in the first place. He couldn't risk the lives of Fili and Kili even more.

"Thorin, where are Fili and Kili?" Bilbo asked, interrupting the silence.

"I sent them into the towers to scout them out." Thorin turned. "How much time do we have before they get here?"

Bilbo shrugged. "I don't know. Gandalf said th—" he stopped short and suddenly became very interested in the fur on his feet. Obviously, he thought Thorin was still ready to curse the wizard.

"Bilbo, what did Gandalf say?" Thorin pressed.

"He didn't want me to go. He didn't say much. I don't think he knows either." Bilbo admitted, avoiding Thorin's gaze.

"If he can save my nephews then I will never doubt him again. My family is already forever indebted to you, Master Baggins. Thank you." He put his hand on Bilbo's shoulder, unable to verbally ask for forgiveness but trying to nonetheless.

Bilbo opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, light and sound of loud drumming radiated from the tower.

* * *

Fili heard them before he saw them. The sound of Black Speech, the thumping of heavy footsteps, and the awful drums reached his ears long before the light from their torches began flickering on the stone walls. He remembered Thorin's instructions and immediately turned around when he knew he was too close.

But there was no place to go. He saw light on the walls behind him, heard the endless pounding of their drums. His heart leaped in his throat. There was nowhere else to go. He was trapped.

Fili suddenly couldn't breathe. They would find him here, trap him, and kill him. He'd been afraid before, but not like this. He was a caged animal with no place to hide.

_Hide!_

That was it. He backed up, his eyes searching desperately for some hiding place. But the smooth walls revealed nothing unless he tried his luck by turning a corner.

They were closer now, the sound intensified. There was only one thing left to do. Fili lifted his sword and took a deep breath. He only hoped Kili had gotten out okay.

He charged forward towards the group behind him, sword raised, ready to slaughter anything in his path. He rounded the corner and met a group of mostly goblins, with some orcs at the back. Luck was with him.

Dimly, he heard himself calling out a battle cry as steel met steel. Fury and a will to live fueled him, and he fought hard, felling his enemies right and left. If he could get past them, maybe he could run to freedom, back to Thorin. But he'd forgotten about the other behind him until it was too late.

The blow came from behind, the hilt of a blade slamming into the back of his head. Fili saw stars and staggered. In his moment of distraction, one of the goblins struck, slashing a knife across his ribs.

Fili hissed in pain and automatically struck out with his sword, now wishing heartily for the twin blades he'd left behind in Mirkwood. He heard a cry of pain from the goblin stepped back.

That was his second mistake. He felt a strong grip on his shoulder and then a chilling, yet hauntingly familiar voice shout out a command in Black Speech.

Azog.

His attackers stopped, and Fili struggled hopelessly as his weapons were confiscated. There was no use. Fili was strong, but Azog was stronger and a good deal larger. His head still pounded from the blow, his vision blurry.

Azog said something else, and turned, dragging Fili along with him. He clamped his eyes shut, a bad feeling telling him he knew exactly where they were going.

* * *

Kili had found nothing. He wondered after all if the Azog had fled, and the sounds he and Fili had heard were just rats or something.

Then he heard something. An anguished cry, not of pain, but of utter defeat. And the voice was so familiar to him his heart almost stopped. _Fee. _

He sprinted towards the opening nearby and looked up, his heart filling with dread. His eyes widened and his legs refused to obey.

Azog had Fili. His brother was defenseless, weaponless, hopeless. They would kill him, and Kili quickly saw why.

Thorin stood below on the frozen waterfall. They would make an example of Fili. Show Thorin his line was ending. Kili felt a sudden rush of tears to his eyes.

He _said _he had it. He said he'd be fine. Kili should never have left him.

Why did he always have to be the hero, the martyr? _Oh Mahal, no. Don't let him die. _

Kili broke into a run, his sword in a death grip. He would save Fili, he would give everything he had to free his brother from that monster. If he couldn't, he would die avenging him. For Kili son of Dis, there was no other alternative.

* * *

Fili couldn't fight anymore. There was nothing he could do. His one attempt at struggle had provoked Azog to throw him against a wall, sending another shuddering blow to his head. He could barely focus his sight on where they were going, and could feel blood leaking down his neck.

Azog dragged him outside, at the top of the tower. He shouted something, and Fili caught one word that sounded suspiciously like _Oakenshield_. He looked down below and caught glimpse of his uncle, staring with disbelief and horror at him.

He didn't see Kili.

No, Kili had to have gotten out. Fili had sacrificed himself to make sure of it. They had to leave before Azog killed them to. He drew a shaking breath. "Go…" he cried, willing Thorin to leave and take him and Kili far away. "Run!"

He refused to close his eyes. He would face death like a true son of Durin. He waiting for the sharp sensation of pain behind him, but it never came.

Instead, something slammed into his shoulder from the side, pushing him away.

**So the deviation begins! From here, it's pretty much my own storyline**

**Thanks for reading and for all who reviewed/followed/favorited last chapter! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to all who reviewed/followed/Favorited last chapter! **

**Before I forget, overdue disclaimer: I don't actually own the Hobbit. If I did, it would look a lot more like this.**

**Also, on a side note, there's no Killi/Tauriel pairing in this fic. She's a minor character, but there's no romance in this fic (although there might be a little bit of Fingrid later on) Sorry to the shippers! **

* * *

Fili was knocked to the ground, but his momentary freedom sent a surge of adrenaline coursing through him. He was on his feet in seconds.

It was Dwalin. The big, burly dwarf that had taught Fili everything he knew about fighting had just saved his life. He could only assume that Dwalin had pushed him out of the way and put himself in danger to do it. He was currently taking down everything in his path, and it was utterly terrifying to watch.

Dwalin yelled his name when he saw he'd recovered, and threw something towards him. It was his sword from Laketown. His earlier pain momentarily forgotten, Fili charged forward and joined the fight.

"You alright, laddie?" Dwalin called over the fray.

"I'll live." Fili called back.

They fought back to back, and it almost felt natural. Not as natural and easy as with Kili, but it was like a training session all over again. Familiar and certain.

Fili was alive. Exhileration swept through him and fueled his action. He would not die at Azog's hand. He would live.

The handful of orcs didn't stand a chance against Fili and Dwalin. just a few minutes after the skirmish began, it was over. As soon as the last orc fell to the ground, Dwalin turned to Fili.

"We have to leave, lad, now."

Fili glanced around. "Azog's gone." In the fury of the fight, he hadn't noticed the Pale orc slink away.

"Aye, for now. No doubt the filth'll be back." Dwalin wiped blood from the axe blade.

"Dwalin!" Fili turned to see Thorin still below on the ice. "Get of there and bring Fili. We have to leave!"

"He's unharmed, Thorin." Dwalin called back before explaining to Fili, "Bilbo came to warn us. Azog has another army coming from the north. Thorin sent me to bring you and Kili back."  
At the mention of his brother, Fili's heart leaped. "Where's Kili? He's not with Thorin."  
As soon as he said it, the sound of fighting reached Fili's ears. It was coming from the north. His heart sank. "Oh, no. Kee, what are you doing?" he whispered. Kili must have tried to save him, and run into trouble along the way.

From the expression on Dwalin's face, Fili assumed the old warrior had reached the same conclusion. "I have to help him."  
The shouting of an orc interrupted Dwalin's response. A group of them charged at Thorin, who stood alone on the ice. "I'll get Kili. You help Thorin." He said. It felt strange to give orders to his teacher. Dwalin nodded briskly.

Fili turned to go, but stopped. "Thank you for saving my life." He added.

"Aye, lad." Dwalin nodded. "Of course. Now get your brother, and don't be doing anything to give up that life I just saved."  
Fili managed a wry, humorless grin before the two dwarves parted ways.

_Hold on, little brother._

* * *

Thorin had watched in utter horror and complete disbelief as Azog had prepared to kill his nephew. He could not move, could not cry out, could not could not do anything to even begin to save him. Then, as Dwalin slammed into Fili and pushed him out of the way, Thorin had fallen to his knees in relief. Fili would be safe.

He'd watched the two dwarves fight viciously, and at last Dwalin had confirmed that Fili was okay and unhurt. Where Kili was, though, Thorin did not know. They needed to get out, to leave, but he had a nagging suspicion that it was too late.

The hair on the back of his neck stood up, and Thorin turned to see a dozen orcs charging him. He lifted his fallen sword and prepared to meet them.

The edge of his sword caught the first one in the neck, but the rest just kept coming, oblivious to their losses. Thorin fought on, fighting a second nature to him. He engaged with his enemies in a deadly dance.

There were too many. He'd felled three, but nine more remained. It was all he could do to keep their attacks at bay. More would come even after these were dead. He could have used Master Bagggins' well-timed assistance, but Thorin realized he had lost the hobbit. He felt the bite of a blade in his shoulder and stumbled, momentaraily distracted. A knife hissed over his head and he ducked. Instead of a mortal blow, he felt a sting on his scalp and leaking blood.

Then Dwalin was suddenly there again, next to Thorin, striking down another orc. Again, he'd come at the needed moment, and together they killed four more. The remainder of orcs fled after their leader was impaled on Thorin's sword.

"Where's Fili?" Thorin panted as his gaze swept the frozen river for more enemeies.  
"He went after Kili. We both heard more fighting."

"Dwalin, we need help. We can't face them alone for much longer, and I'm not leaving without them. I'll go after them. Find Bilbo, get help." He placed his hand on his old friend's shoulder, a gesture of farewell. Dwalin returned the gesture before heading back into the valley.

As he left, the hideous blast of an orc-horn rattled the frozen landscap. Thorin readied himself for another fight. He did not look for more help. He and the others would have to fend for themselves. The four of them were separated and on their own.

* * *

Head reeling, Fili kept going. He could still hear the sounds of fighting, and he knew that Kili was down there. The earlier burst of adrenaline and fury that had brought him a respite from the pain was gone, and a dull pounding had replaced it. Nausea roiled in his stomach, and it was hard to focus. But still, Fili kept going. Thankfully, the only other major wound he'd received was the slash on his ribs, but the blood had pretty much stopped and left him with a faded sting. He could hardly believe that just a few short hours ago they'd charged into battle. Had it really been this morning when Thorin had ordered them to stand down? It felt like a lifetime ago.

He didn't doubt Kili's fighting ability, or his bravery. But he was worried sick that Kili would do something reckless, something foolish. He didn't know if Kili even knew he was alive, and it he thought the opposite, his actions would be fueled by rage and grief. He wouldn't think through or calculate anything. Fili broke into a run. The pain in his head didn't matter. He didn't matter. Nothing mattered except Kili, and reaching him before it was too late.

He rushed around a corner and stopped short as three heavily-armed orcs jumped into his path.

* * *

Kili had failed. Utterly failed. He hadn't even been able to make it to his brother, let alone try to save him. His slammed his sword into the side of an orc with a cry. A whole group of them had barred his way, stopped him from going to Fili. He'd killed only three of them, and not easily.

Fili was dead. The thought was the only thing going through his mind. He couldn't even begin to grasp that his big brother, his protector, was gone. He just fought on, numb. He barely even felt the blows when they struck him. He couldn't even take stock of his injuries. He didn't even try. Fili was dead, and Kili wanted to join him. What kind of life could he live without his brother? Fili was his other half, Fili was _everything _to him. He barely registered the tears streaming down his cheeks.

He would kill every filthy orc he could get his hands on; make them wish they'd never been born. He would do his best to avenge Fili, and die doing it. The anger and total despair pushed him on, kept him fighting.  
The sword of one of the orcs was suddenly pointed at his chest, and Kili froze. But instead of running him through and ending his misery, there was a quiet _twang _and the orc fell forward, dead. Kili saw the arrow imbedded in his head at a glance. As he raised his sword to block another attack, he realized it was familiar.

"Kili!"

The cry echoed in the cold air, and as Kili swung his sword, his despair increased.

She couldn't be here. It wasn't safe. She should have taken her elf prince and gone back to Mirkwood. He never, ever thought she was fighting today. Just one more thing he would fail to protect.

She called his name again, and this time he answered. "Tauriel, get out of here!" he cried, ducking under an orc's blade and stabbing his sword into the creature's stomach. He turned his head enough to see a flash of red hair, and a familiar yet hideous face looming over her.  
The orc from Mirkwood and from . He heard Tauriel's short cry of pain and turned. Fili was already dead, and Kili didn't think once of his own life. Tauriel had saved him three—no, four-times. He could try to save her; try to save one thing before he died.

He jumped.

* * *

_Oh no. _Fili had dispatched his attackers and ran, following the sounds of a fight. But there were more orcs, and he had no choice but to engage them. He saw Kili, across from him, fighting furiously. Then he saw the elf and swore. As Kili jumped onto Bolg, Fili's heart stopped. _No, stupid! What are you doing? You're going to get yourself killed! _

"KILI!"

* * *

Bolg had him by the throat, his spear poised over Kili's chest. He saw Tauriel on her side a few feet away, and heard her gasp of denial, but somehow, he couldn't summon the energy or the will to fight Bolg.

He closed his eyes; hoping death would be swift and painless.

Then heard it. His name, shouted for in fear and desperation. But he knew the voice, and he knew it was real.

Fili.

He was alive.

Kili's eyes shot open and he slammed his fist into Bolg's lower stomach. His hand loosened and that was all Kili needed to break loose. He grinned, elated, and snatched his sword from the ground. He lunged, ready to drive the blade into Blog's chest. His attack was blocked, but he swiped the orc's arm.

They changed positions, with Bolg between him and Tauriel now. Out of the corner of his eyes, Kili saw her trying to get up. He drove forward again, this time aiming for Bolg's kneecap, but his attack was again parried and he had to jump back to avoid being stabbed.

He didn't have enough time to hear Tauriel's cry of warning before something grabbed him from behind and shoved him against the stone behind him. His ribcage slammed into the rock roughly and he was held there, pinned against rock. He turned his head and caught a quick glimpse of a scarred visage before he was forced back against the stone, mobilized.

Bolg had stopped moving, and next Kili heard a low rumble in Black Speech. The voice was horrifyingly familiar.

Azog.

Then Kili heard something that sent shivers up his spine. A low, rumbling laughter coming from the pale orc.

Anger welled up inside of him. That monster had tried to kill Fili. And now he had Kili. He heard him and Bolg talking, and it sounded like they were arguing. But who could tell with orcs?

Kili tried to struggle, but Azog had him firmly pinned. Kili might have been tall for a dwarf, but Azog was even bigger than a man, and Kili's strength was no match for him.

He was pulled roughly away from the stone and saw Bolg's leering grin before Azog started dragging him forward. He realized Tauriel would be left alone with Bolg. On the shores of Laketown, he'd said he loved her. But what was that? The rash words before battle of a soldier-boy to the woman who'd saved him. He briefly wondered where the blonde elf—Legolas—was, and hoped for her sake he was close by.

Kili resisted, trying to get his feet under him and throwing his weight around, kicking hopelessly at Azog and doing everything he could to break free. He had Kili's arms pinned, but that didn't stop his fighting.

He felt the cold bite of the edge of a knife on his throat and stopped immediately. A streak if pride went through him when he realized that it was the sword replacing the hand Thorin had relieved him of.

He didn't want to die. Fili was alive. He wanted to live, he had to live, and he had to see him again. But Azog had him, and he was trapped and captured, just like Fili. There was no escape. He closed his eyes again. He knew his brother was nearby, and right now, Fili was his only hope.

He had hardly noticed when he was wounded while fighting earlier, but now Kili could feel every biting sting in his flesh. He didn't think he had any life-threatening wounds, but he could now feel the pain. He was also bleeding heavily enough for blood loss to be a problem sooner rather than later. Azog's knife dug into his skin, and a trickle of blood made its way down his neck.

Kili hadn't realized where they were going until his knees hit the ice of the frozen river. He opened his eyes and saw two figures fighting at the edge of the waterfall. He recognized one of them instantly. _Thorin._

He had no weapons. The orc he was fighting was ready to kill him. Kili tried to cry out a warning, but Azog forced his chin higher and he couldn't see for a second. When he relocated Thorin, the orc was dead, and his uncle stood over it, holding a familiar sword. _Orcrist._ He'd lost it in Mirkwood, and Kili had no idea how he'd gotten it back.

Behind him, Azog suddenly bellowed out the one word of Westron Kili had ever heard him use. "Oakenshield!"

Thorin turned and saw them. Azog smiled.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please review! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to all who read last chapter, especially those who took time to review! **

Thorin felt his heart sink as he stared at his captive nephew. The situation from a few hours ago was repeating itself.

Azog's knife-hand was positioned at Kili's throat, forcing his chin up. He looked terrified, but not broken yet. Defiance gleamed in his eyes. He had not given up. But with Azog looming over him, huge and threatening, he looked horribly small and weak. The pale orc was armored in black, his white skin even more emphasized.

As Thorin made his way forward, he suddenly realized how tired he was. Tired and weary not just of fighting, but of running from Azog, and tired of avenging the deaths of his family. He wondered if he would ever kill Azog. He looked at Kili again, watching Azog lifting his sword. He slammed it into the ice in from if Kili. Thorin felt the vibrations in his feet and shuddered.

He wouldn't be an example like Fili had supposed to have been. No, Kili was the bait to draw Thorin in. He gritted his teeth. He would save Kili, first and foremost. Killing Azog would be next, and his own life would be last. This monster had killed Thror and slaughtered Frerin. He'd driven Thrain mad, and now he was after Thorin and his nephews. Thorin strode towards Azog and Kili, sword ready. The opponents never took their eyes off each other. Azog stamped the ice, breaking it in front of him. Thorin kept going, not knowing his plan but knowing it was bad.

He should never have let them come with him. They should have stayed home.

Azog shouted something and Thorin saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned to see a group of orcs approaching him from the side. Wearily, he lifted Orcrist. He couldn't explain why the elf had thrown it to protect him, but he was glad to have it now.

The orcs engaged quickly, but he realized they intended not to kill him, but to keep him from going to Kili. He parried a side swipe as he heard Kili cry out and a sudden splash.

Then, silence.

_No._

* * *

Kili jerked away futilely as Azog grabbed the back of his coat and lifted him over the hole in the ice. A strangled yelp of sheer terror flew from his lips as he guess Azog's plan.

He next thing he knew, he was underwater.

_Cold. It was so cold. _ He couldn't move, couldn't think, didn't know anything except that it was cold. The pain from the cold overrode all thoughts.

Everything hurt, his wounds ached unbearably. Especially the one above his knee that Tauriel had healed. He could still feel the arrowhead's biting pain, down to the bone. A wound from a morgul blade never really healed.

He was suddenly lifted out and the cold air was even worse than the water. He coughed uncontrollably, unable to breathe properly. The cold air in his lungs knifed through him. He was shaking all over. He registered that his numb fingers had turned blue.

Kili saw Thorin fighting, heard his uncle yell his name over and over again. It was a dim above the roaring in his ears, but he knew that Thorin was trying to save him. It occurred to him that he might not make it.

"You filthy bastard!" Thorin screamed. Azog responded by yanking Kili back into the water.

This time, he hadn't been able to draw a proper breath. The cold was unbearable but Kili struggled helplessly. Azog's strong grip kept him down, and he could see light slanting through the water above him. He was only pinned down, not immobilized. His flailing hand struck out above water and he kicked hard, surfacing for a second. He heard Thorin yelling and sucked in some air before Azog shoved him down again. He was farther down this time.

Would he die here? Trapped underwater in this icy prison, cut off from all contact, all help?

* * *

Fili's feet treaded a now-familiar path. He limped badly, leaving a trail of trickling blood. He had jumped out of the way to avoid a sword that was supposed to have imbedded itself in his knee. He'd avoided being crippled but earned a deep, painful gash above his knee.

He had been just too late. Azog had dragged Kili away just as Fili had broken away from the orcs. He ran after KIli, but Azog had a knife to his throat and a sizeable lead. Fili had lost them quickly in the unfamiliar terrain and twists and turns. The orcs he'd run from weren't chasing him, but his pace was fevered despite his wounds.

He was close. This was where Azog had tried to kill him. He could see the frozen river below, but nothing moved and he only saw a few bodies of orcs.

He heard steel on steel, and then Thorin's voice screaming out his brother's name in sheer desperation. The sound sent his heart into his throat and made his whole body shake with rage and fear. They had his baby brother, and whatever they were doing had to be terrible. He refused to believe that Kee was dead.

Fili scrambled down the rocky embankment, no longer feeling the pain in his knee but acutely aware of the pounding in his head. His feet hit ice and he looked upriver, seeing blurry, moving figures. He squeezed his eyes shut. Kili needed him, now was not the time to be weak.

He started forward, still trying to make out what was going on.

Thorin was fighting, and behind him Fili saw Azog. Kili had to be over there, but he couldn't see him. Thorin felled one of two orcs and suddenly Fili realized where his brother was.

Azog had him underwater.

"Kili!" he screamed, no longer trying to stay hidden. He broke into a sprint. Kili was the only thing that mattered now.

He heard the twang of an arrow and one imbedded itself in the ice in front of him. Fili whirled around to see three orcs behind him. He swore. He couldn't go anywhere without these buggers showing up.

The first was decapitated instantly. Red flashed through Fili's vision and anger fueled his motion.  
How dare Azog even touch his brother, let alone drown him! He would pay. Fili would make sure of it.

The other two orcs held off, engaging Fili but keeping him back to let their master do his work. Fili forced them closer to Azog.

He could see Kili now. Azog had pulled him from the water and his brother lay at his feet, soaked and shivering. His lips were blue, his skin a deathly white. Fili's heart constricted with one look at his brother. Kili hunched over, unable to hold himself up. He could hear his wretched coughing from twenty feet away.  
"No!" Thorin cried, and Fili heard a splash. He looked over his shoulder to see Azog holding him underwater again.

Fili heard his uncle give a mighty battle cry that struck fear into his own heart. Orcrist flashed and the last orc Thorin had been fighting was killed instantly.

Fili still had two more to deal with, but he saw Thorin standing in front of Azog. He hoped his uncle knew what he was doing.

He heard the twang of an arrow as it whizzed past his ear, and had no time to react to the presence of an orc archer. Something slammed into his back and Fili stepped back, feeling an explosion of pain from the arrow. _Stupid, stupid! _How could he have missed that? Kili needed him now. There was no time for injuries.

Fili growled low in his throat and swung the sword out in an attempt to keep his enemies at bay. He shot forward seconds later, renewed energy keeping him going. Nothing mattered except saving Kili. Nothing mattered except his brother. The pain was forgotten as Fili fought.

He might have failed once. He might have been late to prevent Azog from taking his brother captive. But he would not fail now. Azog would die today, and Kili would be safe. They were Durin's Folk and the line of Durin could not be so easily broken. They had each other, and they would protect each other at whatever cost. Fili had seen the look on his uncle's face. He would die to save them. And Fili would die to save his brother.

That was his job. Ever since the moment Kili had been placed in his arms as a newborn baby, it had been Fili's responsibility to protect him. He had promised himself, he had promised his brother and Dis, and Thorin. No matter what, he would protect Kili.

* * *

Azog's leering grin unnerved Thorin, but it fed the flame of anger inside him. The water at the monster's feet was still, and Thorin didn't know if his nephew was alive or dead. He wished that it was him under the water instead of Kili. He was still a boy, little more than a child. Azog would not get away with this. He had dared to kill Frerin and Thror, but they didn't even mean as much to Thorin as Kili did. Kili was his son in all but name. A father did not abandon his children.

He feared for Fili. He could still hear his heir fighting orcs behind him. The anger would hurt Fili's calm, careful calculations in fighting. He wouldn't be rational.

Azog's eyes flickered to Fili, and in the moment of distraction Thorin struck. He pulled the knife from his boot and flung it towards the pale orc's arm.

He heard Azog hiss in pain and saw a line of red appear on his white flesh. Never taking his eyes from Thorin's, Azog slowly drew Kili from the dark water.

Thorin's grip on his sword tightened in response. Kili's eyes were open, but he was shaking violently. The dark-haired prince was dropped unceremoniously to the ice and he lay there, limp and pale, too weak to move. Thorin longed to go to him, but Azog stood in the way.

"KILI!"

It came from behind them. Fili. Thorin heard an enraged yell and then a shriek of pain from an orc.

Azog saw him, and his eerie grin spread across his face. He grabbed Kili by the back of his coat and lifted him into the air like a war prize. Kili had no strength to resist. His gaze met Thorin's.

"U-uncle." He forced out between agonized breaths. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Azog acted first.

He plunged Kili under the water a final time and let go.

* * *

The darkness enveloped him. Kili didn't struggle this time. He was too tired. It was too cold. Resisting even a little sent pain roaring to every fiber of his being. Why resist the inevitable?

Then Azog's grip was suddenly gone, and Kili realized he'd let him go. A surge of movement swept through him and he began flailing desperately for the surface. His hand scraped the underside of the ice. Though the sheet of ice was thick, the water still flowed underneath. The current had pulled him away from the opening. He was trapped. There would be no one to pull him out. He would die, drown under the ice in its freezing depths.

There was movement above him, and he suddenly saw Fili kneeling on the ice above him. His short-lived hope quickly died. Fili was here, but there was nothing he could do.  
He had never been under this long. The pressure built in his lungs and screamed in his ears. He needed air. _Now._ His need for warmth was overridden by his desire for just a breath of air.

He drew in a breath, no longer able to think properly. Icy water filed his lungs and he coughed, only taking in more water. His chest felt ready to explode. He couldn't take it anymore. Darkness beckoned, and before Kili lost consciousness, one thought flickered through.

_I'm sorry, Fee. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who read the last chapter! Sorry for the wait! Please enjoy and review! **

The first swing of Azog's mace almost killed him. Thorin barely had time to duck and jump backwards to avoid it.

It seemed an eternity since Azog had let Kili go, but it had been only seconds. Thorin quickly realized that, even if he could have pulled himself out, the current would drag Kili under. He had not been able to drag his eyes from the spot his youngest nephew had disappeared from.

Azog's mace swung again, and this time Thorin dodged it and drove forward. Kili was as good as dead. And Azog would pay. He ducked again under Azog's second swing, but this time he shot forward. He struck at Azog's leg, but was forced to retreat as the orc swung the mace around again. He stepped back, out of range.

He saw Fili racing towards them. The bodies of several dead orcs lay on the ice behind him.

He shook his head. "Fili—your brother. Get him out!" He called back. Fili was already there.

* * *

"Kili…no, please no, brother." Fili whimpered, scrambling desperately across the ice where Kili had disappeared. The current would have dragged him down, but he didn't see him anywhere. His brother was already so weak. How could he survive this? How could Fili even get him out when a thick sheet of ice separated them?

He saw movement under the ice and realized he was above Kili. He could hardly see him through the ice, but he was there. "Hold on, little brother. I'm coming." He wasn't struggling. Fili gritted his teeth hard and pushed aside thoughts that his brother might already be dead.

Blood trickled out of a cut on his forehead and into his eyes. Angrily, Fili swiped at it, his fingertips feeling numb. Whether that was from the cold or blood loss, he didn't know. It was impossible to ignore the pain from his wounds and the pounding radiating from his head.

Seconds ticked by as Fili racked his brain for a way to help Kili, but he could hardly even focus. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

"Fili!"

Thorin's shout pushed him into action. He had to do something. His sword was in his hand, and almost instinctively, he plunged it into the ice on the other side of his brother's limp form. He yanked it from the ice and repeated the action a foot away. He slammed his foot into the cut and broke the ice in a small circle. In sheer desperation, he managed to clear a slightly larger area. His eyes flickered across ice, searching for his brother. He saw a flash of gold against the dark water and recognized Kili's mail. He reached into the ice without a second thought.

His hand closed around his brother's arm, and Fili pulled him up. The action sent waves of pain to the arrowhead lodged in his back.

With a grunt of effort, he hauled his brother partly out of the water. A few more pulls brought him out all the way.

He was deathly pale, almost white. His lips and fingers were a ghostly blue. He was limp, his eyes shut tightly. He was injured somewhere. A trickle of blood seeped onto the ice.

Fili bent close to him. "Come on, Kee. Wake up." He whispered. He couldn't see him breathing. His chest didn't rise and fall rhythmically. Still, Fili refused to give up. He leaned down, putting his ear above Kili's mouth and nose. He wasn't breathing.

He reached for Kili's wrist, feeling for a pulse. His fingers were numb with a cold, but Kili's skin was still as cold as ice.

There was nothing. No pulse. _Nothing. _

"No, Kili, come on." His voice cracked and Fili let go of his brother's arm. It fell lifelessly back to the ice. "Wake up-" he managed, a lump forming in his throat. "Kee—"

Tears were spilling down his cheeks. For several moments, he could do nothing but stare at Kili's dead body. Grief overwhelmed him. The tears continued and his shoulders shook silently. He finally reached for Kili's hand. "Please, Kili, please wake up." He begged. "You can't go without me. You promised Mum—I promised her I'd take care of you!" he stopped, a sob forcing its way out of his throat. "Don't leave me little brother. Don't go where I can't follow."

But Kili did not magically wake up. No amount of Fili's pleading could change the fact that he was dead. Slowly, Fili let go. He got to his feet, his gaze never leaving Kili's lifeless face.

The sound of Thorin's battle with Azog met his ears. He raised his gaze to the pale orc. He was responsible for this.

"You will pay for this!" He shouted, anger replacing grief even as tears still welled in his eyes.

He picked up his fallen sword from the ice and strode forward. "Do you hear me, Moria scum? You will answer for this!"

* * *

Azog's mace smashed into the ice beside him and it occurred to Thorin that the battle field had become a chunk of ice, broken free from the rest and floating shakily. Azog sized him up, the eerie grin never leaving his face. It was as if he knew that Thorin would be defeated surely as the sun rose, and his nephews would follow him.

Yet Thorin was absolutely determined to kill this monster or die trying.

He ducked to avoid another swing. His feet slipped out from beneath him and he crashed to the ice beneath. He scrambled to his feet just as Azog came around for another swing. The chunk of stone caught him in the ribs even as he jumped backwards. Azog growled, and he slipped, one foot plunging into the icy water.

Thorin got to his feet, holding his sword aloft. He was so, so weary.

He didn't expect Azog to go for his feet, but the next swing did and Thorin was laid flat on his back. Waves of pain shot up his legs from the impact of the mace, and for a second he lay, stunned. The air had left his lungs, and he could not breathe.

"Thorin! Look out!"

He heard Fili's voice behind him and lurched into action. Thorin rolled away, hearing the ice crunching under the rock just inches away from him. He tried to get to his feet again, but had to roll out of Azog's range. Behind him, he registered a blonde head racing towards them. It was Fili.

Thorin lunged forward, his sword biting into Azog's arm. He kept going, regaining his balance behind his opponent. The pale orc growled and turned to face Thorin. He swung the mace again, enraged. Thorin was just out of reach, and the rock slammed into the ice at his feet.

He looked up, meeting Azog's gaze for the first time Fili had stopped behind him.

Azog tugged and pulled, but the mace would not budge. He thrust his sword-arm at Thorin, but he ducked. He nearly lost his balance, but held his sword up, ready for the final battle. He was hardly a threat when Azog had the mace, but if they fought with swords, he had a chance.

Then, Azog's incensed snarl changed to an expression Thorin had never seen on his face. Bewilderment. He was looking above Thorin, and for a second, Thorin thought Azog might actually be scared.

He felt the downdraft of the eagle's wings before he saw them. They aimed straight for the forces from Gundabad, tearing into them. The orcs were no match for the eagles. A spark of hope flared in his chest. They might actually be able to win.

He felt a _bump,_ and realized that the circle of ice they were on had rammed into the rest of the ice. Thorin dropped his sword, a plan forming in his mind. The sound reengaged Azog's attention. Thorin darted forward, grabbed the mace, pulled it from the ice, and threw it at Azog's feet.

Their eyes met, and Thorin saw realization in Azog's. He might not have been able to defeat the pale orc in a fight, but he could still kill him.

He stepped back.

Without his weight, and with the weight of the mace and Azog, the circle of ice tilted up. Azog went sliding down, unable to grab hold of anything. He disappeared beneath the ice.

_Just like Kili. _

"Uncle!" Fili shouted, starting forwards again from where he had stopped behind Azog. He reached Thorin even as his uncle's gaze frantically scanned the ice for any sign of his brother.

He grabbed Fili's arm. "Kili—where is he?"

Before Fili could answer, Thorin saw his younger nephew, lying prostrate on the ice. He turned to Fili again, the question unspoken but his searching look was enough.

"I tried to save him." Fili whispered, his gaze now on his feet. "Thorin—he's dead." He looked back to his uncle, tears gathering in his red-rimmed eyes. Thorin saw bruising under his eyes, and realized for the first time Fili was covered in blood. "I t-tried, but I just couldn't…" he couldn't keep his voice from cracking and stopped short, unable to go on. He turned to the ice again. "I promised I'd keep him safe. I've failed." He choked out. "I got him out, but it was too late."

Thorin's grip tightened on Fili's arm. No, not Kili. It had to be a mistake. The lad couldn't be dead. Thorin had done everything he could, and so had Fili. He _had _to be alive.

"Thorin…" Fili whispered hoarsely.

"You did all you could." Thorin told him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"No, look." Fili pointed, and Thorin saw what he was looking at.

Azog.

Under the ice, drifting towards them. As Thorin watched, the monster's eyes opened and focused on him and Fili. He was still alive. All else, even the news of Kili's death, left him. He still had to kill him.

As if in a trance, Thorin reached down, grabbed Orcrist and followed him. Azog's eyes closed, and Thorin breathed a sigh of relief. He was trapped under the ice, and if he wasn't dead now, he would be soon.

"Uncle, look out!" Fili shouted, grabbing Thorin's arm and pulling him back. Azog's eyes reopened, and his sword thrust through the ice where Thorin's foot had just been.

Thorin fell back as Azog pulled himself out of the ice and stood over him. He defelcted the first blow, but he couldn't pull himself up. Azog swiped again, and Thorin blocked it. But he was only holding it back from his chest. Eventually, one of them would have to give in. _He was going to die._

"No! Uncle!" From the side, he suddenly saw Fili charge towards Azog. His sword met flesh, stabbing into his upper arm. Azog roared and went down; fighting off Fili's attacks one handedly. Fili was one of the best fighters Thorin had ever seen, but had never seen him fight as well as he was now. Thorin got to his feet and joined his nephew.

One of Azog's swipes caught Fili in the arm, but still his nephew kept going. He had two swords, and Thorin saw that he had picked up Kili's as well as his own. They may not have been his perfectly matched and balanced swords from Ered Luin that were still rotting in Mirkwood, but he made them work. He stabbed Azog in the stomach in a gap of his armor. His next attack severed the muscles in Azog's sword-arm. He was flat on his back, weaponless, and defeated.

Thorin finished him off. He rammed Orcrist into Azog's chest. The monster had killed his grandfather, his brother, and now Kili. Anger fueled him, and he did not stop until flesh met the hilt and the blade had gone through the ice. He saw a flash of surprise in the pale orc's eyes, and then he went limp.

It was over. Thorin had won.

With Fili's help, he got to his feet. They supported each other, hearing the cry of one of the eagles above.

"He's dead." Fili whispered. "He's finally dead." A tear dripped down his cheek, mixing with the blood.

Thorin started towards Kili's body, Fili following behind. The short trip seemed to take forever. He knelt beside the youngest prince, his heart constricting. He was so pale, so still.

Fili knelt next to him, tears soundlessly coursing down his cheeks. Again, Thorin put an arm over his shoulders. Fili leaned against him weakly, resting his head on Thorin.

Thorin reached for Kili's hand. He realized once again how much Kili resembled Frerin. In a blind hope, he pressed his forefinger against Kili's wrist. It was cold. Nothing.

And then, a flutter.

A pulse.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to everyone who read last chapter, especially those who took time to review! Love you guys! I apologize in advance for my limited medical knowledge...Enjoy! **

* * *

He was alive. Kili was alive.

"Fili, he has a pulse!" Thorin whispered, barely able to believe it. Fili roused and looked up at Thorin with empty eyes. "He's alive!"  
"I felt for one and there was nothing there, Thorin." Fili said.

Thorin shook his head. "It's weak, but it's here." He put his fingers on Kili's neck to confirm it. Faintly, he could a pulse there too.

"I want him to be alive too." Fili murmured.

Thorin turned to face him. Fili was exhausted, that was clear to see. "Fili, I would not lie to you. Your brother is alive. He may be alright yet."

Fili shook his head. Everything hurt. His spike of adrenaline was over, and the pain was no longer dulled. The arrow wound in his back hurt with every movement, and the deep cut above his knee was still bleeding. He wondered if that was why he couldn't feel his fingers. But the worst was the pounding ache in his head. It was an intense headache, and he felt ready to throw up at any second. His vision was blurry around the edges and it was hard to focus.

He watched Thorin lean over Kili and push hard on his chest in an attempt to revive him.

"I want him alive even more than you do, Uncle." Fili started weakly. "But _he's dead._ Nothing will change that! It's easy to believe that he's alive when he's not." He broke off quickly and looked away, tears again gathering in his eyes. "You know what it's like to lose a brother. Do not make this harder for me." He added.

Before Thorin could respond, from beside them, Kili suddenly jerked to the side and started coughing violently.

Thorin bolted into action first, gently lifting Kili up a few inches so he wouldn't inhale more water. He looked back at Fili, and for all his hope that Kili would live, he seemed completely surprised.

Fili finally moved, scrambling forward and kneeling next to him "Kili, brother, can you hear me?" It was if his wounds ceased to exist, nothing mattered except his brother.

Kili had finally finished coughing and lay back weakly. His eyes were still clenched shut but he was very much alive. He moaned softly. "Fee?" He whimpered. "So c-cold."

Fili noted for the first time how much Kili was shivering "I know, little brother. Just hold on. You'll be fine." He managed past the lump in his throat. He looked up at Thorin. "You were right. Thank Mahal, you were right."

"We need to get him back as soon as possible. He could die out here just from the cold. He's soaked."

Fili nodded and then winced as the action sent more waves of pain through his head.

Kili was coughing violently now, and it sounded terrible. Fili wondered if he still had water in his lungs or something. He squeezed Kili's hand harder as his brother shuddered hard from the cold.

Thorin unbuckled Kili's armor and together he and Fili worked to get it off. Kili was inert and motionless; the only sign of life his rough, uneven breathing. Thorin worked quickly, his movements almost frantic in their haste. He finally finished and lifted Kili up; holding him like was still a child.

"Can you carry him all the way back?" Fili asked as Thorin grunted with effort. Kili might have been young and smaller than most dwarves, but he was still tall, and even without his armor he would be a heavy load. Both Fili and Thorin knew that Fili would be able to carry him back, and Fili wasn't sure he could even make it himself.  
"I will try. But the sooner the better for him."

They started off, Fili following behind. Out of habit, he scanned the area for enemies. They had all been killed, and he didn't think they would stick around after Azog's death, but he wasn't sure.

In Thorin's arm, Kili moaned weakly. Thorin picked up his pace. They left the frozen river and ice behind, starting the slow path back down to the mountain. On their way up, the rams had picked their way nimbly up, but for the dwarves now on foot, it was much more difficult. They followed the path that had once been used to get the watchtower, but it was obvious hardly anyone had used it since after Smaug had taken over.

Thorin was getting further and further ahead, but it was all Fili would do to push himself forward, even unburdened. He was continually blinking black spots out of his vision, and dizziness seemed a better alternative than the lightheadness that came and went. At least the acute pain in his head had subsided to a pounding, roaring ache.

He saw Thorin stop, turn around and see how far back he was. He stayed where he was, waiting for Fili.

He walked faster. Even though, it seemed to take forever for him to reach him.

"Don't wait for me, Uncle. You need to take Kili." Fili panted, leaning against the stone for support.

Thorin's grip tightened on Kili, but he shook his head. "I didn't even ask if you were wounded. You don't look good."

"I'll be fine. I just need to rest. Take Kili."  
"You could die, Fili. What use would you be to Kili if you were dead?"

Fili grabbed Thorin's arm. "Please. Take my brother down for me, and get him to the healers. He needs help more than I do right now. I'm coming, but don't wait for me."  
Thorin had to make a choice. Both of his nephews were hurt, and both of them needed help. If he waited for Fili, Kili could die in the meantime. If he left Fili and went on, he could very well die as well. He looked absolutely awful. His face was as pale as Kili's, and there was a good deal of discoloration under his eyes. He had blood all over him. Fili continued, "Please Thorin. You have to take care of him for me."

Finally, Thorin nodded. "Be safe. Your brother needs you." He would have hugged him if his arms hadn't been full. Thorin wanted to tell Fili that he loved him, but the words wouldn't come. They were both more precious to him than words could say. "You fought well today, Fili. I am so proud." He managed instead.

Fili was left alone. Thorin's retreating form disappeared quickly. He started forward again, slower this time. He felt blood trickling down his face and wiped at his nose, realizing it was bleeding. But he hadn't gotten hit in the face

He kept going, feeling ready to pass out. It was so far down, so far to get back to the mountain. He was never going to make it.

He needed to rest. He had to rest. It was snowing now, Fili realized, but he wasn't cold. He just wanted to rest. His legs suddenly gave out, and Fili dropped to his knees. The next thing he knew, the snow-dusted ground was coming up to meet him, and the pain was replaced with a blessed blackness.

* * *

Thorin moved as fast as his feet would carry him, but it didn't seem fast enough to him. Kili had gone quiet, and hardly seemed alive except for an occasional shuddering shiver. Thorin's arms were ready to give out, but he had only made it to the battlefield. He could see the mountain looming ahead, and looked for any kind of healing tent or a familiar face.

There was so much death, so much loss. Men, elves, and dwarves lay side by side dead orcs and wargs. Survivors wandered among the dead, and the screams of the dying reached his ears. The ground was wet with blood. Could this have been avoided without him? Could all of the dead be alive right now if he had only listened?

No, he reasoned. They wouldn't. Azog's army still would have attacked, and all the dwarves would have been completely annihilated if not for the unexpected help from their enemies.

It seemed the longest walk he had ever taken. Even on the battlefield he still had to keep going. His legs threatened buckle at any moment, and he had been able to avoid being wounded. He had taken a beating from Azog's mace, but nothing compared to what Kili had gone through, and probably Fili.

His heart jumped in relief when he saw a familiar shape crowned in white. Balin leaned over a body and shook his head sadly. He looked older than ever. He hadn't seen Thorin, and straightened as Thorin called him.

The old dwarf turned to see him, and Thorin knew Balin's relief was mirrored across his own features.

"Thorin!" he cried, hurrying towards him. He slowed when he saw who Thorin carried. "Kili—?" he broke off, leaving his unspoken question hanging.

"He's alive, for now. I have to get him to Oin immediately." Thorin panted, glad to rest even for a moment.

"Come on, then. Dain ordered tents to be set up here. It's not far. I told him the mountain was still a mess from the dragon, and it's too far away and inconvenient." Balin assured him.

Thorin picked up his pace. Balin continued, "What about Fili? Where is he?"  
"I left Fili on the mountain."

Balin sucked in a breath. "Then, he is..."  
Thorin shook his head. "He's wounded, but begged me to take Kili and leave him. I did as he asked."

"And what about you? Are you hurt? When we found Dwalin, we feared the worst."

"I'm fine, but what about Dwalin? I sent him for help."

Balin shrugged. "He's alive, and Oin think he'll pull through. We found him unconscious on the battlefield, and he hasn't awoken." His tone was light, but his concern for his brother was easily visible. He gestured for Thorin to follow him. "This way."

Balin led him to a smaller tent, and Thorin recognized Dain's tent nearby. They hurried in, Thorin grunting with the effort to keep holding Kili.

It was dark inside the tent, but Thorin made out the shape of Bofur's hat as his eyes adjusted to the light.

He looked up, his eyes widening. "Kili? Is the lad alright?"

"He's alive. Barely." Thorin said.

"Bring him back here, Thorin." Balin called from the back of the tent. Oin was with him, and Bofur followed. Together, they got Kili into a bed. He still looked like a corpse, and Thorin realized that his shirt had started to freeze and was now stiff.

"What happened?" Oin pressed as Thorin started to take it off.

"Azog." Thorin spat. "Kili was the bait. He tried to drown him, let him go under the ice. He held him under first, several times, and then let him go to fight me."

Bofur came with a shirt that looked like it was from one of the dwarves from the Iron Hills. Balin took it from him and turned to Thorin. "Sit down, Thorin. You need to rest. We can manage."

Thorin opened his mouth to protest, but his body obeyed the command and dropped into a nearby chair.

"How long was he under?" Oin asked.

Thorin shook his head. He didn't know. "Fili got him out while I fought. We thought he was dead. He wasn't breathing." He quickly explained the rest.

"He could die just from the cold. But he's got water in his lungs, that obvious." Oin said gravely. He didn't meet Thorin's gaze.

"What about the others?"  
"Nori and Gloin were wounded the worst, and Ori and Dwalin as well, but they should be fine. They're in another tent." Balin explained.

Thorin got to his feet. "I have to go back. Fili didn't look good when I left." He didn't want to leave Kili, but at least he knew that the lad would be in safe hands.

Balin stopped him. "You won't be very much help to Fili as you are. You should stay here. Send someone else."

"No, I—"

"I'll go." Bofur said, stepping forward. Balin looked at Thorin as if to say _stop being so stubborn._

"He's in bad shape." Thorin countered.

"You won't be much help medically either." Balin said calmly. "Though I doubt Dain can spare any of his healers."

From where he was hovering over Kili, Oin spoke up. "Take one of the lakeman's daughters. The elder lass had a good head on her shoulders. She knew enough to help me with Kili before."

Bofur nodded to confirm this and looked to Thorin expectantly.

He nodded slowly. "Alright." He slowly sat down again. "Thank you, Bofur." The hatted dwarf disappeared in search of Fili and Balin turned back to help Oin with Kili.

_Bring Fili back. Bring him home. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Well, Sigrid just sort of snuck in here. I was rethinking that decision, but it was hard to resist, so I let her stay. (Don't worry, it's not going to turn into a full-on romance, that's not what this fic is about!) Thanks to everyone who read, and especially reviewed last time! (And Anon, since I can't reply to you, thanks for the tip!) Enjoy…**

Fili lifted his head with a shock, his heart racing. Where was Kili? He remembered the battle, Azog, the ice, but he didn't see his brother anywhere—dead or alive. How had he even gotten halfway between the plain and the summit of Ravenhill?

_Please Thorin. You have to take care of him for me. I'm coming. _

His shoulders sagged in relief when he remembered that Thorin had taken Kili. If Fili couldn't keep his brother safe, then Thorin was the next best thing. He just wished that he'd told Thorin how badly he was hurt. Or at least asked him to send help back once he got Kili safe. Because Fili was pretty sure that he wasn't going to be able to make it down if the pain was any indicator. It wasn't even the flesh wounds so much, though, by Durin, they did _hurt. _But the hit from the sword hilt inside the tower and Azog throwing him against a stone wall had definitely led to the severe pain and head trauma he had now.

It was getting dark now. Fili knew he needed to get back, needed to get help as soon as possible. It was getting colder too, and he was covered in a light dusting of snow. The longer he stayed where he was, the worse the situation would get. Besides, who knew what else was up here?

Fili squeezed his eyes shut and propped himself up on his elbows, groaning. He pushed himself up to a sitting position slowly and stopped to rest. The fact that he needed so much strength just to sit up scared him. He still had such a long way to go, and there was no way he was going to make it. Still, he had to try. For Kili's sake.

He got to his feet and swayed dangerously. For a second, he thought he was going to pass out again as darkness clouded, but it passed and he realized he was still standing. Everything hurt much worse when he was standing. He wiped blood from under his nose and took one step forward. His legs nearly gave out and he almost fell over. Fili gritted his teeth and took another small step. He never took his eyes off his feet, although he was so dizzy it was hard to even see that. Slowly, painstakingly, step-by-step, Fili kept going. When his body threatened to give out with exhaustion, he permitted himself to rest. He turned around, and saw that he'd gone barely forty feet from where he'd started.

Fili moaned weakly, his entire body shaking. Defeated, he allowed his knees to buckle and collapsed on the cold ground. He was too tired for this. It hurt too much—everything. He wasn't going to make it. Thorin and Kili would find his frozen body later, and…

_Come on, Fili! You're _sooo_ slow! _

Kili had told him that over and over again, whether they were dwarflings racing out to go play, or if Kili wanted him to get out of bed, or, when they were older, when he goaded Fili while they were racing.

"Kee, I'm trying," Fili whispered. He got up again and made it another ten feet before his body truly gave out on its own. Fili didn't resist. He was too tired, in too much pain, had lost too much blood, been through too much. His eyes slipped closed again.

_"You're it, Fili!" Kili shrieked, tagging his brother and then scampering away. Fili raced after him, giggling. He caught up to Kili and tackled him, bringing both of the then to the ground in a spectacular display of older brother dominance. _

_ "I'm Smaug, and I've got you, Kee!" Fili cackled, pinning his laughing little brother to the ground. _

_Kili threw his arms around Fili's neck and hugged him tightly. "And I'm a hug-monster, and now you love me! No one can resist hugs! Not even Smaug!" he squeezing Fili tightly. Fili didn't want to ask what a 'hug-monster' was, but Kili was threatening to cut off his air supply completely. "Hug! Hug! Hug!" Kili squealed. _

_Strong hands grabbed Fili by the collar and lifted him up, but since Kili was still hanging on, he came too. "Uncle Thorin!" Kili shouted gleefully once they'd both been set on their feet. "I missed you aaallll day!" _

_Thorin ruffled Kili's hair. "I missed you boys too." He sent a wink Fili's way. _

"_Uncle?" Fili asked. "What's a 'hug-monster' anyway?" _

"_This!" Kili answered for Thorin and grabbed onto their uncle's leg. _

_He turned to Fili and shrugged. "I don't know, but I think this is pretty self-explanatory." He knelt next down to their level. "Now, I need your help with something, but you have to keep a secret. Can you?" Two little heads nodded and Thorin lowered his voice to a conspiring whisper as Fili and Kili crowded close. "Your mamma is making cookies right now, and when I tried to sneak one she sent me out of the house. So, who wants to help their favorite uncle distract Mamma so he can steal enough for all of us?" _

"_Me!" Both boys said at once._

* * *

Fili felt the snow start up again and its icy touch, but his eyes remained closed. He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him. He moaned and slipped back into a world of hazy dreams.

_"FiliFiliFiliFiliFili! Wake up, wake up!" Kili punctuated his command by jumping onto Fili's bed and bouncing up and down on his legs. "Fee, get up! It's snowing!"  
"I'm awake, but I am absolutely under no circumstances getting out of bed."Fili mumbled, pulling the blankets up even farther. "It's too cold." He closed his eyes again, but it didn't dampen Kili's enthusiasm. _

_ "We have to go out and play in it before it gets all messed up! I'll keep you warm, Fee, I promise!" he begged, and Fili kept his eyes firmly shut. Even though, he could stop the hint of a smirk from making its way on his lips. "You're smiling, Fili! I know you want to go!" _

_ Fili feigned snoring, although he was about to succumb to the laughter bubbling up in his throat. Kili grabbed him by the shoulder and shook it, playing along. "Wake up, Fili! Come on, get up! Ge—"_

Pain flashed angrily through his back as Fili realized someone was shaking him. He wearily lifted his head and opened his eyes. "B-Bilbo? What 'r you doing here?" he managed, slurring his words. "I thought you 'ere dead."

The hobbit looked down at him with sad eyes. "No, Fili, I am not dead, but you are going to be if we don't get you out of here soon."

Fili blinked. It was a little darker than it was before. He glanced around, not seeing anyone else but the company burglar. "Where's Kee?" he mumbled.

"I don't know. No one's up here except dead orcs. Well, at least I hope they're dead." He shuddered and offered his hand to Fili. "Come on; let's get you back to your uncle."

Fili struggled to sit up. "How'd you ge' up here?"

"I came to warn Thorin about Bolg's army. I got caught up in the fighting, accidentally, and I have to admit one of those nasty characters knocked me out. I was on my way down when I found you." Bilbo shrugged and helped the injured dwarf to his feet.

He blinked, trying to clear his vision so that there was only one hobbit in front of him, not two. "E'rything hurts," Fili mumbled, wobbling unsteadily.

Bilbo looped his arm around Fili's waist. "Lean on me, I'll help you."

Somehow, with Bilbo's help, Fili managed to get a good deal further than he had on his own. He leaned heavily on the hobbit, and could tell that Bilbo was doing just about all he could to make sure Fili didn't fall. Even if he had been strong enough to walk on his own, his balance was almost nonexistent.

Bilbo kept talking, trying to encourage him to keep going. He prattled on, and Fili was grateful for the just the sound. _We're almost there, Fili. Keep going, we're going to make it soon, just a little bit farther and then we can rest. _Fili heard a note of panic in Bilbo's voice that kept growing as they slowly made progress.

He just kept his gaze on his now-blurry boots, and kept going, even when he was panting from exertion. Bilbo's voice blended into a low hum after a while, and even the sound of the wind died until all Fili could hear was his own harsh breathing.

Abruptly, Bilbo stopped. Fili sagged against him, exhausted. "Why 'r we stopping, Bilbo?" he whispered.

"There's someone coming," Bilbo said. "I can hear them, but it's too dark to see."

A shout met their ears. "Fili? Is that you, laddie?"

Bilbo let out a sound that was half a sigh of immense relief, and half a laugh. "It's Bofur! And I was thinking it was an orc or something!" he raised his voice. "We're up here! It's Bilbo, I've got him!"

Bofur said something quietly, Fili couldn't make it out. Bilbo pulled him along again, and a moment later two shapes came into view.

Fili recognized the shape of Bofur's hat even before he saw his face. He blinked, trying to make out the figure with Bofur. Was he hallucinating, or had Bofur brought an angel with him?

"Is he hurt or—" Bofur started. "Oh, you don't look to good, Fili."

"Kili…and Thorin…" Fili wheezed. "Are they..."

"Aye, lad, Thorin brought your brother back and Oin is with him. They're in good hands, don't worry."

Fili managed a nod of gratitude. The girl that was with Bofur stepped forward and Fili finally recognized her. "Sigrid." He said, and she offered a little smile.

Bofur explained that Sigrid was there because none of the other healers could be spared, and she might be able to help him. Sigrid scooted closer. "Did you hit your head? It's all bruised under your eyes and your speech is slurred." Fili nodded. She continued, her tone nonchalant although her eyes were serious. "It happened to Bain once, though not nearly as bad."

The others helped him sit down while Sigrid rummaged around in the small pack that Bofur had brought. Fili closed his eyes, hearing Bofur and Bilbo talking but not really listening. Sigrid wrapped up the wound on his leg, but took one look at his back and said she had no idea what to do.

"That's fine, lass, let's just get him back. We're not too high up, it won't take long," Bofur assured her gently, and she gave Fili some awful tasting concoction for the pain.

For the fourth time that night, although this time leaning on Bofur, Fili started off again. It was slow going. Eventually, somewhere in Fili's muddled half-consciousness, they made it to the plain below Ravenhill. Since it was no longer so narrow, Bilbo went to his other side and he was slung between him and Bofur.

The last leg of the journey was the shortest, but for Fili, it seemed to be the longest. His legs were refusing to work altogether, so Bilbo and Bofur were all but dragging him along. He barely registered when they finally entered the healing tent.

"Fili!" All of the sudden, Thorin was there, holding him up, talking to him. He was here, he had made it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dark-haired figure curled up on one of the beds. Kili. He was safe. Fili let his eyes close and then slumped to the ground, unconscious.

**Wasn't planning on having Fili's POV the whole time, but his misery kinda took over. Not a lot of action here! And goodness, those flashback/memories were hard to write! Hope I did them justice. **

**Thanks for reading and please review! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so much for all the reviews last chapter! I love reading what you guys think! Please enjoy…**

Thorin leaped to him feet the moment Bofur and Bilbo all but carried Fili into the tent. For a second, Thorin was rooted to the spot. Fili looked like a corpse, slung between the other two, hanging limply. He was pale, and had blood all over his face.

Thorin jumped forward to help hold him up as Oin rushed over. "Fili!" Thorin cried.

Weakly, Fili raised his head to look Thorin in the eye. "Uncle…" he whimpered, his eyes darting around the room until they rested on Kili.

Bofur took off his hat. "He's not doing too well, Thorin. He's slurring his words and-"

Before Bofur could finish, Fili sagged abruptly to the ground, Thorin barely catching him before he hit the ground all the way.

"Oin, what's wrong with him?" Thorin demanded frantically.

"Thorin, he's been through a battle today, not to mention wounded. And he still had to walk almost all the way back. I'm surprised he was conscious this long." Oin said gently. "Let's get him to a bed and I can look at him."

Thorin scooped Fili up like he was just a little dwarfling and carried him into the bed next to Kili's, listening as Bilbo, Bofur and Sigrid told the old healer everything they knew about Fili's condition.

"…said he hit his head, and was so weak he could hardly sit up on his own," Bilbo was saying. "He seemed confused, and he didn't know where Kili and Thorin were."

"Where is he wounded?" Oin demanded.

"His back is the worst, it's an arrow." Sigrid spoke up. "And his leg, and it looks like across his chest from all the blood."

Oin stepped forward and examined Fili quickly. He glanced at Thorin solemnly. "These wounds wouldn't be good on their own, but he's lost a lot of blood, and from what Bilbo was describing, hit his head pretty hard." Oin didn't elaborate, but Thorin caught his general drift. Fili was bad off. He could die.  
Thorin looked at Kili quickly. He was the same as he had been a few hours before, although a little bit of color had returned to his face. He was still, piled under a heap of blankets. His rattling breathing was just about the only sign of life.

"Thorin, we need to get that armor off," Oin said, not glancing up from the herbs he was looking through. Thorin crouched beside the bed and started unbuckling Fili's armor. Balin knelt beside him a moment later and silently helped him.

Balin hissed when he saw the arrowhead still embedded in Fili's back, the shaft mostly broken off. It was covered in dried blood. "Poor lad. That must've hurt like anything," He whispered, his face expressionless but his eyes full of sympathy.

Thorin could only nod, and they gently guided Fili's thick leather shirt over the wound. The fabric caught on the wood, moving the arrowhead only slightly, but it had to be agonizing. Fili's body tensed in response and he squeezed his eyes closed. Thorin cursed himself for not seeing how badly hurt the boy had been. He would never have left him if he had known.

"We're going to have to cut that out. It's not that deep, but I don't want to try and pull it and have the shaft come out by itself," Oin explained once he looked at the grisly wound.

Thorin nodded, and prayed that Fili wouldn't wake. He sat next to his nephew, alternating watching Oin cut the fabric of his undershirt away, and watching Fili's face for any sign that he might awaken.

He looked away when Oin got ready to cut out the arrow. He's seen wounds far worse than Fili's, and had helped Oin on a few occasions, but today the thought of the healer cutting into his nephew's flesh made him sick. He grabbed Fili's limp hands while Oin sterilized the knife. Thorin felt Fili's muscles tighten in response to the pain when Oin bent over and began cutting out the arrowhead.

While Fili had passed out, he wasn't out enough to not feel pain, and this was reflected across Fili's face. The room had gone quiet, and the others had averted their eyes while Oin worked grimly and methodically.

Fili suddenly clenched Thorin's hands tightly and then his eyes fluttered open.

Guilt washed over Thorin the moment Fili's pain-filled eyes met his.

"Uncle, what's go-" he choked out before groaning.

"Keep him still," Oin barked, and Balin and Bofur hurriedly stepped up to help hold Fili down before he struggled. Thorin let go of Fili's hands to press down on his shoulders.

Fili's gaze never left Thorin's. He looked betrayed, as if Thorin was letting him be hurt on purpose.

"Oin," He said, knowing he didn't need to ask the question.

"It's deeper than I thought, but not the bone. I'm almost there."

Fili gasped in pain and tried to wriggle away from the bite of the knife, but as weak as he was, it was thankfully futile.

"Hurts." Fili whimpered to Thorin, sounding as vulnerable as his uncle had ever heard him.

"I know, Fee." Thorin whispered past the lump in his throat. "It's almost over."  
Fili snapped his eyes closed as Oin dug in deeper. "Uncle, why are they hurting me?" He suddenly wailed in agony, reaching up to grab Thorin's wrist. His nails dug into Thorin's arm. "Make them stop!" Fili cried. Thorin felt a tear slide down the bridge of his nose. He didn't have the words to respond. Fili was always so rational, so calm. To see him like this, with no control, unable to understand, bewildered Thorin completely.

"Got it." Oin grunted. "Hold onto him, I'll pull it out."

Fili's mouth opened in a soundless scream for one awful second before he suddenly went limp, once again knocked out by the sheer pain.

"It's out," Oin said a moment later, and Thorin finally let go of Fili. Blood was all over Fili's back and the blankets. Oin reached out and tenderly patted Fili's shoulder. "I'm sorry I had hurt him, Thorin," He whispered, although the room was so quiet the others heard too. Thorin shook his head, realizing for the first time that his face was wet with tears.

The sight of his nephew in so much pain, and so confused as to why, had struck him to the bone. Balin's eyes were also wet, and Bofur had shed his hat and was wringing it in his hands. Bilbo was sitting, his head down. Sigrid still stood at the back of the tent, her eyes red.

"He was lucky; it didn't hit bone. But no doubt the head is filthy." Oin wiped his hands on a rag. "Infection is a good possibility, but the head is intact so nothing was left behind."

Thorin watched as Oin methodically cleaned the wound before wrapping it up. He checked Sigrid's bandage on Fili's leg and beckoned her over. "This is well done, lass."

She smiled shyly. "Thank you." Her voice was hardly a whisper. She cast a nervous glance in Thorin's direction.

"You should go back to your father. They probably need you in Dale." He rose to his feet. "Thank you, Lady Sigrid, for helping my nephew. I am in your debt." The words sounded hollow even to him.

"I just hope he'll be fine," She whispered, casting one last glance to Fili before heading to the door. Bofur offered to go with her and the two left.

Oin had cleaned and bandaged both the wound on Fili's leg and the slash across his ribs. He turned to Thorin when he was done. "These aren't much cause for worry. Painful, yes, and a long time in healing, but all things considered, it could have been a lot worse.

"What about his head?" Thorin asked.

Oin didn't answer right away. "He must've been hit pretty hard. He lost a lot of blood too, that accounts for some of it. He was weak, and dizzy, and disoriented, and that happens from blood loss too, but he was worse. Looks like his nose was bleeding too."

"It wasn't when I left him."

Oin nodded. "That happens too, with head trauma. And look how he's all bruised under his eyes. He was slurring his words, too. He was probably hit more than once. Thankfully, it didn't seem like an actual injury. His head wasn't bleeding, although I did feel a bump."

Thorin exhaled wearily. He glanced at Fili, finally asleep. Oin had wiped most of the blood off his face, but he looked awful still. At least he couldn't feel pain at the moment. He looked back to Oin. "What does that mean, then?"

Oin shrugged. "He doesn't seem too worse for the wear, but at the very least he'll have a bad concussion. We can just hope it doesn't get any worse."

"Azog had him. He was going to kill him," Thorin said. "He was going to kill him right in front of my eyes. If it hadn't been for Dwalin…" he saw up straighter, suddenly remembering the rest of the company. In the few hours they'd waited for Fili, Oin had bustled to and from the back of the tent where the others were. He'd forgotten to even ask about them again. "I'd forgotten all about the others," He admitted.

"Aye, I need to go check on them." Oin handed Thorin a bottle. "Give some to Fili in a few hours. Hopefully he won't wake up before then. It'll help with the pain. Call me if either of their conditions' change."

"I will," Thorin said. Oin gathered up some supplies and headed to the other part of the tent. Balin went with him, putting a comforting hand on Thorin's shoulder as he left. No doubt he wanted to check on Dwalin.

He heard an awkward scuffling and remembered Bilbo was still there. He turned, and saw the hobbit looking quite out of place and ready to leave.

"Master Baggins." Thorin said, greeting him for the first time. "I'd forgotten you were here." He paused, still unsure of what to say. After all, the last time they'd seen each other Thorin was threatening to kill him.

Biblo gave him a small smile and then looked back down at the hair on his feet. Thorin continued. "Are you injured?"

"No, I'm fine, just a few scratches and bruises." Finally, Bilbo stepped forward and went to sit next to Thorin. "How about you?"

"I'll live. Nothing too bad." Oin had quickly bandaged his wounds earlier, and while they were painful, the beating he had taken at Azog's hands had and its present soreness hurt more."

"Is Kili alright?"

"I hope. He is for now, but…" Thorin trailed off, feeling a lump forming in his throat.

"What happened?"

"Azog," Thorin growled, and he was glad when Bilbo didn't press for details. "Thank you for saving Fili."  
"I was glad to do it. I just hope he's going to be fine, poor lad. I can't imagine what you went through…earlier."

They sat in silence for a few moments, watching Fili and Kili sleep. Thorin gathered his courage and spoke again, "I should be begging for your forgiveness, Master Baggins."

Bilbo looked at him, but quickly looked away. Thorin kept going. "I would take back my words and my deeds at the gate. You did what only a true friend would do. I was not myself. Forgive me. I was too blind to see," He admitted. "I was so wrong, Bilbo," He shook his head "I led all of us into peril."

"I'm glad to have shared in your perils, Thorin. Each and every one of them. It is far more than any Baggins deserves." Bilbo whispered.

Thorin turned to look at him. "Thank you." He managed. "I just hope…Fili and Kili…" he shook his head and didn't finish his thought.

"I understand," Bilbo said. They sat together for a few more moments. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, go get some rest. I'll stay with them," Thorin said, nodding to Fili and Kili. He heard Bilbo leave, and then was left alone.

The boys were safe now. But both of them badly hurt. He should never have taken them into battle today.

Moving slowly and wearily, Thorin methodically went around the room and blew out all the candles except one. He moved his chair between his nephews and sat down heavily.

In the dim light, they looked even younger than they were. Kili wasn't even of age yet, he remembered. Why had he even agreed to let them come? It was so dangerous. Dis would have his head if she were here. He had almost led her sons to their deaths. He still could.

But he was beyond glad to have had them by his side. At every stage of the quest, they had proven themselves a hundred times over. They had made him proud every step of the way. And if Fili hadn't have been there today, Azog would likely have killed him.

He looked at his elder nephew. Fili looked so vulnerable. His eyebrows were furrowed, even in sleep. He had almost given everything up to make sure Kili was safe before even thinking about himself. Thorin's eyes welled up with tears. They were so brave.

They were dear to him. So dear it almost scared him how much he really did care. They were more precious than all the gold in Erebor.

**Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Kili! We'll get him in the next chapter, I promise! **

** Bilbo just sort of wormed his way into this chapter. Hope you guys liked that bit. **

** Thank you so much for reading, and please review! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the wait! Thank you to everyone who read last chapter and thanks so so so much for the reviews! **

Thorin had slept for a few hours, although it didn't seem nearly long enough. He gave Fili the medicine for pain and surveyed his nephews. Fili slept fitfully now, breathing deeply. Kili, on the other hand, breathed roughly and harshly.

Hypothermia had been avoided when Thorin had brought him in, thankfully. They'd piled him with blankets, and kept him as warm as possible. Eventually, he'd stopped shivering. Oin had said his core temperature had warmed up enough. He still sounded awful, but at least some of the color had returned to his face.

It was nearly dawn, and had Thorin been outside he would have seen the dim shape of the mountain. It was theirs now, at long last. The victory seemed almost hollow now. He'd taken his nephews to death's door to keep it.

Thorin turned. A king's place was with his men, and he needed to check on the rest of the company. He moved slowly to the main part of the tent.

He saw Oin bent over Nori, with Dori beside his brother. The former thief looked worse than Kili had. Ori slept peacefully on the other side of his brothers.

Bilbo was dozing in a chair next to Gloin's bed, where Oin would no doubt be if he could have been spared. Thorin knew Dain had no healers to spare, and he was beyond grateful for Oin. Half of them would owe their lives to him.

He didn't see Bofur, Bombur or Bifur, but assumed they had left to help with the rest of the wounded, or to look for survivors.

Balin had parked himself next to his brother, and Thorin was glad to see Dwalin was awake.

"You're alive then, laddie," He called softly when Thorin came in.

Thorin almost smiled. "More or less." He glanced at the bandage around Dwalin's head and his friend followed the unspoken question.

"An orc club. Weak blow, though. Oin says I'll be fine."

"If you take it easy, brother," Balin chided from the other side of the bed. "How're the lads, Thorin?"

"The same," Thorin sighed. "Fili's sleeping, but Kili still sounds awful." He looked at Dwalin. "What happened to you after you left me?"

"Ran into a bunch of those buggers. They were almost about to kill Bilbo, but I got most of them. I was trying to get down, but they'd killed Dain's rams. I had to fight my way down, and almost as soon as I did the bastard hit me and knocked me out."

"I'm glad you're safe." Thorin's gaze wandered to the youngest member of the company. "How's Ori?"

"He was awake earlier. A lot better than Dori made it out to be. He took an arrow to the shoulder and broke his arm. Brave lad, though. Saved Nori's life."

Thorin looked to where Oin was stitching up Nori's side. There was a lot of blood, and no doubt the wound was grisly indeed. "Nori is still unconscious. He's in pretty bad shape. Lost a lot of blood. "He was with Ori, but Ori went down before he saw what happened." The three of them lapsed into silence.

"Is Azog dead, then?" Dwalin asked. "Balin told me, but I didn't believe him."  
Thorin nodded. "Aye, that filth is finally dead. But he would have killed me if Fili hadn't had been there."

* * *

In the numbing darkness, he felt no pain. Fili wanted to sleep. He was so tired. He needed to escape the pain.

But where was Kili? Half-asleep, Fili reached out next to him and felt for his brother. Every single night on the quest, his brother had always scooted as close as possible to him in the middle of the night. Any closer and he would have been using Fili as a pillow.

But Kili wasn't there.

"Fee…" he heard a soft moan and then he was fully awake.

As soon as he opened his eyes, the pounding ache in his head was back. He hadn't thought it was possible to be dizzy while lying down, but he was. None of his wounds hurt, they were just sort of numb.

He squeezed his eyes shut again. He vaguely remembered Bilbo finding him, and somehow they'd gotten here and he'd seen that Thorin and Kili were safe. That was the last thing he could recall.

He heard coughing and sat bolt upright, his eyes roaming the tent frantically for his brother. He finally found Kili in the bed next to his, swamped in blankets. Every breath was shaky and raspy. "Kili, what's wrong?" he said, but his brother gave no sign of hearing him.

Kili's eyes were clenched shut under a furrowed brow. He drew in another shallow breath, but instead burst into a spasm of deep coughing. It sounded horrible and made Fili's own lungs hurt from just hearing it. He kept coughing, and when he finally finished he gulped in air almost frantically.

Fili panicked. He wasn't even breathing properly! Why had they left him alone?

In one motion, he flung the blankets off his bed and swung his legs over the side. "Thorin!" he shouted. The room wobbled dangerously from his sudden movement.

The flap on the other side of the tent burst open and his uncle rushed in, Oin on his heels. "Fili, don't get out of bed," Thorin commanded, and Fili obeyed. He didn't think his legs would even hold him.

"It's Kili." Fili pointed helplessly. He wanted to help Kili, needed to help him. That was his job. But he could hardly keep himself upright.

Kili coughed again, although his eyes remained clenched shut. Oin went to him. Thorin stepped in front of Fili and he couldn't see what Oin was doing. "Lay back down, Fili," He commanded, firm but gentle.

"But Kili—"

"You can't help him any better sitting up."

Fili reluctantly complied and Thorin turned back to Oin. The healer knelt next to Kili, his head over Kili's chest. "His lungs don't sound too good."

Kili moaned again, and whimpered out, "Where's Fili?" before breaking into another fit of coughing.

"Right here, brother, I'm right here." Fili forgot Oin's and Thorin's warnings and attempted to get up again before Thorin pushed him back down gently.

"Your brother's fine," Oin assured Kili. Thorin helped his younger nephew sit up while Oin mixed some herbs into a flask of water. He held it to Kili's lips. "Here, drink this."

Kili drank some of it, but burst into another fit of coughing. He doubled over; eyes still shut, and struggled to regain his breath. Every fiber of Fili's being wanted to go to his brother. It was his job, and he was failing miserably. Even just lying in bed, though, his head throbbed painfully.

Kili blearily opened his eyes. "Uncle?" he asked quietly.

Thorin reached for Kili's hand. "Here, Kili."

"Hurts to breathe," Kili forced out before he started coughing again.

Oin turned to Fili. "Lad, he breathed in water, right?"

Fili nodded. Kili finally finished coughing after several agonizing moments and Thorin looked at Oin to signal him to keep going.

Oin continued, "Dwarves don't swim much. They either drown in the water, or they swim out and are fine. I don't know how much about treating something like this. I thought his breathing would get better, but it's getting worse. There must still be water in his lungs, I think."

"Is that why he's coughing?" Fili asked.

"Maybe. But maybe he's getting sick from being in that cold water. I don't know."

Kili's coughing broke the awkward silence that ensued after Oin's admission. Oin turned his attention back to him. As long as Fili could remember, he had nursed him and Kili through every cough and every scrape. Oin had never failed to help Kili when it was beyond Fili's own ability.

Kili whimpered again and Fili focused back on his little brother immediately. "Chest hurts, Fee."

Fili wanted to cry. He wanted to get out of bed and be at Kili's side. Kili had always looked to Fili, and but his big brother was no help at the moment. Fili clenched his fists.

Oin straightened from his place by Kili's bed. "That's it then. If his chest hurts, then his lungs have probably swelled. Which means there's water in them."

He reached for Kili's wrist and felt his pulse. Nodding, Oin continued, "It's a little slower than normal."

"What does that mean?" Thorin questioned.  
"It means that his lungs aren't working properly," He sighed. "It's only going to get worse. We need t-"

He was interrupted as Bofur rushed in. "Oin, Nori's finally awake, but he's in a load of pain."  
"I'll be right there," he told Bofur.

Oin hurried out, closely followed by Thorin. "Stay in bed, Fili," his uncle called over his shoulder before Fili was left alone.

Whatever medicine they'd given him was wearing off, because his wounds were really starting to hurt. At least his vision still wasn't blurred.

Kili moaned softly, and Fili immediately propped himself up on one elbow. "Kili, look at me."

Kili's eyes opened and his gaze found Fili and stayed there. He smiled weakly. "You got me out of the ice," He murmured. His voice was weak, and he sounded a good deal younger. "Betcha got that bastard Azog too."

"Thorin killed him. He's dead."

Kili's smile widened before he started coughing again. This time it was more violent and lasted longer. When he started to suck in a breath before succumbing to another round of coughing, Fili scrambled out of bed to his brother's side.

"Hey, nadadith, breathe. Just breathe." Fili sat next to him and let Kili lean on him. Kili took a few breaths before hacking fiercely again. It was horrible to listen to, especially knowing there was nothing he could do. "Come on, Kee," Fili whispered, mostly to himself, as he willed Kili to stop coughing.

"Can't-" Kili wheezed. He shuddered violently, and the next thing Fili knew his brother was throwing up the water they'd just got into him.

"Kili!" Fili jumped to his feet, reaching for Kili's hand. Kili sagged against the pillow, breathing as deep as he could under the circumstances. "I'm sorry—Kili-I'm sorry." Fili realized he was saying it over and over again but not really knowing why.

"Not…your fault," Kili managed. But Fili couldn't help but feel guilty. If he hadn't tried to rescue Fili, or if Fili had only been a little faster, Kili might be fine right now.

Kili squeezed his eyes shut and his grip on Fili's hand went limp. "Kili? Kili!" Fili yelled as his brother presumably passed out again.

Thorin was there almost instantly. "What happened?" he demanded.

"He was coughing, and then he vomited. He passed out again," Fili stammered.

"Get back in bed. You shouldn't have gotten up," Thorin commanded gruffly.

"What was I supposed to do?" Fili shot back. "Just lie there while he couldn't breathe?"  
"Yes!" Thorin shouted, and Fili finally saw a flicker of fear—for him—in Thorin's eyes.

They were both quiet. Thorin turned away from him. "A few hours ago, Fili, you didn't even know who Oin was."

With his head hammering, Fili followed Thorin's order. He noted a bloodstain on the bandage around his thigh, but covered it with the blankets before Thorin saw. "What happened?" he asked softly.

Thorin sat down on the chair between their beds. He didn't look at Fili. "He had to take the arrowhead out of your back. You'd just gotten back. You were so exhausted you didn't know who he was. We thought you were out, but you were awake while he took it out." Thorin stopped and glanced at Fili before he continued. "You begged me to stop them. But I couldn't."

"I don't remember that," Fili said softly. Silence drifted over them again. "How's Nori?"

"Doing better. He got wounded in the side pretty badly. He's lost a lot of blood, and he's in a lot of pain, but he should be fine."

When Oin returned, Thorin filled him in. He let out a long breath. "It's clear we need to do something sooner rather than later."

He sat down heavily beside Kili. "When I was a lad, I remember my father had to treat a human boy who had this same problem. Someone in our village had pulled him out of the river, and he was near death."

"What did he do?" Thorin asked.

"The last thing he needs is a collapsed lung, but there is another way. I've never done it, but I believe I can. If I can make a small incision in the lining, the water can possibly be drained out. If it works."  
Fili sat up, color draining from his face. "You can't do that! You'll kill him!"

"If we don't do anything, his lungs will continue to swell and he'll die anyway." Oin said patiently.

"What happened to the boy?" Fili asked frantically.

Oin glanced at Thorin. "He died. But he was a lot worse than Kili, and the circumstances were differ-"  
Fili interrupted him with a string of curses.

"Fili, lad, if something goes wrong, we might have a bigger problem on our hands. But this won't kill your brother.

"No, you can't hurt him!" Fili threw the blankets aside and got up, ignoring their protests. "You can't do it to him, after all he's been through!" He turned to his uncle desperately. "Thorin, tell him he can't hurt Kili."

Thorin was quiet. He and Oin exchanged looks. Fili gritted his teeth. "Tell him!"

"Do it, Oin," Thorin said quietly.

"Thorin, no!" Fili cried, stepping protectively towards his brother. Thorin grabbed him around the waist. "What are you doing?"  
"Fili, calm down."

Fili struggled futilely as Thorin dragged him out of the room. "Kili! _Kili!_" Thorin did his best not to hurt Fili, but he thrashed about so much he had no choice but to hold him tighter.

He kept fighting Thorin until they were in the main tent. As soon as Kili was out of sight, Fili crumpled. He slumped to the floor, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

This was not a side of Fili that Thorin had seen often. Gone was the calm rationality that usually defined him. He wasn't thinking clearly. His desire to protect Kili was strong, but it was overriding reason. In his weakened, injured state, he was hardly functioning. Fili might be awake, and his wounds might have been cared for, but he was far from all right.

Thorin could feel the looks of the rest of the company as he knelt beside his nephew guiltily. "Fili, look at me."

He didn't move. Thorin took his hand and rested his forehead against Fili's temple. Fili was hardly ever on the receiving end of comfort, but Thorin could try. "If I didn't trust Oin completely, and if I didn't believe this could help Kili, I wouldn't let him try. Kili will be fine. I will make sure of it. I promise you, he will be fine. Do you understand?"

Fili exhaled shakily and then gripped Thorin's hand affirmatively. A spot of red caught Thorin's eye. The wound above Fili's knee was bleeding again. He was moving around far too much. "Let's get you in bed." Thorin realized he hadn't been this tender with Fili since he was a dwarfling.

As soon as he'd helped his nephew into one of the unoccupied beds in the main tent, Fili all but collapsed. He immediately curled up, tucking his hand and arm around his head protectively. Obviously, he was in pain. He just wasn't showing it.

For the second time in what felt like an eternity but was really less than a day, Thorin reluctantly left Fili to go and tend to his brother.

**Some uncle feels there, I hope! **

**A ton of medical research has gone into this story, especially this chapter. Don't worry, I'm not just making this stuff up, it is grounded in fact. **

**This one was a little difficult to write, and got rewritten many times. Please tell me what you think! **

**Thank you for reading! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks so so so much for all the reviews last chapter, and also for follows/favorites! Sorry for the wait too. **

**Disclaimer: I'm no doctor, by no means an expert (although internet helps!). Please bear with me! Back to lots of Thorin again for this chapter, but it's extra long!**

"_Uncle, my throat hurts!" Little Kili stuck out his lower lips and widened his already big eyes into a face that no one could resist. _

"_You'll be good as new in a few days, Kili, and then I promise you won't miss out on all the fun," Thorin said, sitting next to his somewhat invalid of a nephew. _

"_But Mama's gonna make me stay in bed but I don't wanna!" _

"_It's just a little cold. And besides, now Fili will have to do all the chores, instead of just his." Thorin winked, finally coaxing a grin onto the little face. For Kili to go even a few hours without laughing, or at least smiling, was rare indeed. _

_The grin faded and was replaced with a, for once, serious face. "I miss you, Uncle." _

"_I'm right here, Kili." Thorin said slowly, somewhat confused. _

"_I know, but I haven't seen you all day! Or yesterday either, since Mama forced me to stay in bed. But I only get to see you when you come in here, and I miss you." _

Thorin looked down at his now-sleeping nephew. He looked older, and he might have been somewhat more mature, but he had never lost the little boy inside of him.

As he and Fili had grown up, Thorin eventually realized that he had distanced himself from them. When they were little, it was easy. But as they'd grown older, they'd needed a father. And Thorin couldn't be that. He had tried. He was the authority, the leader. But both of them had learned that he rarely was there to comfort or love them.

Everything he'd ever loved had been ripped away from him. His home, his parents, Frerin, his whole family except Dis. He was almost scared to show how much he loved his nephews. In some strange rationale, if he didn't show it, it wasn't there. It would make it worse if they were taken from him.

That seemed a very real possibility. It troubled Thorin to think—to realize-that he was responsible. He might now have inflicted the wounds or tried to drown him, but he'd sent both boys into the tower, and he'd let them fight, and he'd taken them from Ered Luin in the first place.

He gripped Kili's limp hand. Oin had given him something to put him to sleep, and Thorin was glad that at least he didn't have to feel pain for a while. It occurred to Thorin that he _missed _Kili. He missed the laughter, the smiles, the jokes, and the endless optimism.

Kili's raspy breathing continued, and in a strange way it was comforting to Thorin. It let him know what his nephew was still alive. The coughing had not stopped, and it seemed to Thorin that each breath grew shallower.

Bifur had returned, and Thorin had put him in charge of watching over Gloin, Dwalin and Fili. Balin had been commandeered to help Oin in whatever way possible. Bilbo had disappeared after Thorin had taken Fili into the main part of the tent.

He could tell Oin doubted himself. Usually, he readied for any kind of procedure quickly and efficiently, not wasting time or mincing words about what he was going to do. This time, he moved slowly, hardly saying anything except to occasionally give Balin an order. He was seemingly hesitant. Scared to hurt Kili, and scared to make a mistake.

"Are you sure you want me to do this?" He asked.

"You told Fili there was no other way," Thorin replied, his gaze never leaving Kili's face.

"Well, maybe someone else. One of the other dwarves…or perhaps someone from Laketown." _Or one of the elves. _

Thorin could read his line of thought. After all, the she-elf had saved Kili's life before. Or so Oin and Bofur had told him.

"There is none I trust as much as I trust you." He glanced up at the old healer, who'd treated both boys hundreds of times over the years. "I just want to help him, Oin. Whatever you can do…" he trailed off, feeling a lump forming in his throat.

It was enough affirmation for Oin to begin.

He went slowly and silently. None of them uttered a word. Thorin could hardly stand to watch the growing pool of red on Kili's side. Oin had explained in passing that it was the easiest place to access his lungs.

Kili was eerily still. The boy who seemed to never stop moving seemed hardly to breathe, although Thorin's ears could easily discern that he was. Oin's face was a mask of concentration. Balin stood nearby, ready to help.

Thorin looked away, anywhere but at Kili. Oin kept working, but it was slow progress.

Oin was suddenly swearing. Thorin's attention was instantly riveted to his nephew again. "What is it?"

Oin gritted his teeth. "Hit…something." He set the knife down and grabbed at the stack of bandaging.

Thorin rushed over. The careful cut Oin had made to access Kili's lungs was now bleeding heavily. "Put pressure on this," Oin commanded, leaving Thorin to hold the cloth over the wound. "He's bleeding heavily now."

Thorin's stomach turned over at the sight of his nephew's blood. There was so much of it, too much. He squeezed his eyes shut.

Balin stepped in front of him and took his place. Thorin stepped back, almost reeling.

"Thorin, I do not have the skill to do this. I tried," Oin said, shaking his head. "He needs help. Soon."

Thorin's mind raced. Earlier, he'd written off all other possible options. But now, he was suddenly humbled. Oin was right. They couldn't do this on their own.

Thorin put a hand on Oin's shoulder. "You did all you could."

"He's already weak from what happened. He already lost a lot of blood. He won't bleed out right away, but I don't think I have to tell you he's bad off, Thorin."

The king nodded. "Do what you can. I'll be back."

* * *

Perhaps, a dwarf king racing across a battlefield would have garnered more attention at some point. It had been almost twenty-four hours since the fighting had begun, yet it was far from over. Some of the wounded Elves and men had been brought to Dale; others had been treated in the field. The surviving dwarves from Dain's army had been brought to tents set up in the shadow of Erebor. Those who had escaped injury worked to pile the carcasses of dead orcs and wargs and burn them.

Even as Thorin headed into Dale, he was hardly noticed. All he could think of was the memory of Kili's small, prostrate form lying on the ice at Ravenhill.

Thorin saw the tents the elves has erected in the old city and kept going. There were a smattering of elves around, but none of them paid any attention to him. He stopped outside what could only be the Elvenking's tent.

"Thorin?" He was stopped by a voice behind him. Thorin turned to see the hobbit. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to see Gandalf. _Now._"

Bilbo thankfully didn't press for details. "He's in there; I was just waiting for him."

Thorin had figured as much. There was no guard outside the tent, and a moment later he was following Bilbo inside.

"Gandalf-" Bilbo began, but Thorin spoke before he could finish.

"I need your help, as soon as you can," He told the wizard, all but ignoring the other two occupants of the tent. Political negotiations and niceties could come later. For the moment, Kili was all that mattered.

"What brings you crawling into my presence to beg, Thorin Oakenshield?" King Thranduil challenged, raising his eyebrows

Thorin leveled him with a glare. "Nothing that you would not do for your son. I came to speak with Gandalf."

"Thorin, what is it?" The wizard interrupted. The fact that the last time they'd seen each other Thorin was cursing him didn't seem to matter.

"It's Kili."

To his credit, Gandalf did not hesitate. "I will speak with you later, Thranduil. I must go."

He followed Thorin out, Bilbo on his heels. "What happened?" He asked Thorin, not even pausing to hear the story. Thorin swiftly led them back towards the tent as he explained.

"What do you want me to do?" Gandalf asked, slightly incredulous, when he had finished.

"Anything you can." They paused outside of the tent. "Gandalf, I wouldn't have asked you if there was another way." Thorin paused. "He's going to die. I can't lose him." His voice fell to a whisper. "Can you help him?"

"I will try."

* * *

He'd hardly been gone for an hour, but Kili was much worse. Thorin heard him struggling to breathe before he even saw him.

"Gandalf!" Oin turned, surprised by the wizard's presence. "I've never been more glad to see a wizard in all of my days."

Kili began another vicious round of coughing. "How is he?" Gandalf asked. Slowly, Thorin approached the bed.

"We stopped the bleeding. But it's more than that. He's coughing up blood now," Oin explained.

_Oh, little one, forgive me._ Thorin watched as his nephew continued to wheeze hoarsely. He looked so small, so weak.

He wiped a strand of sweat-soaked hair off of Kili's forehead, unable to speak. He was reminded of another dwarf. As Kili had grown up, Thorin and Dis had always been startled to note just how much he resembled their now-dead brother. The same impish grin, the ever present laughter and sparkling eyes. The same innocence and loyalty.

_It was a wound to his chest. There was blood everywhere. "Frerin, talk to me, nadadith." Thorin begged, unaware of the tears falling down his cheeks. "You cannot die on me." _

_At last, his younger brother's eyes opened, revealing glassy blue. "Thorin…" he whispered hoarsely. _

_In response, Thorin gathered his brother onto his lap. "Right here," he managed. _

_Frerin smiled—barely. "You are…king now." He found Thorin's hand and clenched in weakly. "We fought well. We won." _

_Thorin nodded. Blood bubbled up out of the corner of Frerin's mouth. His little brother was dying right in front of Thorin and there was nothing he could do about it. The brother he had sworn to protect was leaving him. "Frerin, no," He whispered brokenly, swallowing hard. "You cannot die."_

_Frerin grimaced. "Love you, nadad," He forced out, squeezing Thorin's hand a little harder. "Take care…Dis." _

_Thorin shook his head in a vain effort to deny the fact. Frerin was coughing now. "Please don't leave me alone." _

_Frerin didn't respond, but his gaze never left Thorin's. The look upon his face begged Thorin to let him go. Thorin leaned down and rested his forehead on his brother's, tears streaming down his face now. "Love you too, little brother," He murmured._

"Thorin? Thorin!" Balin's voice brought him back to the present. He blinked at Kili's limp form. He was no longer coughing, just struggling to breathe. Next to him, Gandalf looked grave. The king turned a frantic gaze to the wizard. "I will do what I can," Gandalf said.

* * *

His head hurt. Actually, everything hurt at this point. Blearily, Fili opened his eyes and then immediately closed them again, groaning. It was far too bright inside the tent. The pain in his head sharpened.

"Fili?" He heard Thorin's voice off to his left.

"S' too bright." He rolled over to face his uncle, away from the light, before he opened his eyes again.

Thorin looked absolutely exhausted. Fili wondered if he'd slept since the battle. He felt a stab of guilt.

The bed on the other side of Fili's was empty. "Where's Kili?" Thorin didn't say anything. "Thorin?" He was surprised how intense his voice was. Hadn't Kili been next to him earlier?

"You don't remember?" Thorin asked finally.

"No. Wasn't he here earlier?" he asked anxiously.

Thorin shook his head. "Both of you were in the other part of the tent. He was never in here. I brought you in here before…" Thorin trailed off. That was unlike him. Something must have happened.

_You can't do that! You'll kill him! Don't hurt him! _The earlier events came filtering back. _I promise you, he will be fine._

A sinking horror dawned on him. _Oh, Mahal. Kili. _"You said he'd be fine. You promised!" Fili burst out, struggling to sit up. "Thorin, tell me what happened!"

Thorin finally met his eyes. Fili's heart was racing. He wanted to grab Thorin and shake the answer out of him. "_Uncle._"

"He's very weak," Thorin said at last. "Gandalf did all that he could but-"

"Gandalf? What was he doing here?" Fili interrupted.

"I asked him." Thorin spoke slowly. "The surgery didn't go well. Kili was bleeding heavily, and we had to get Gandalf. He's breathing is much better now, but Oin's worried about infection. He might not be able to fight it off. And there's also the possibility of pneumonia."

Kili may not have been out of the woods yet, but he was alive. Fili breathed a sigh of relief. "Can I see him?"

Thorin shook his head. "Not yet, Fili. Balin's with him now. And Oin gave me the strictest instructions not to let you get up. But since you, Nori and Kili were at least stable for the moment, he's sleeping."

Fili cast a longing look in the general direction of his brother. "Oin also told me to change the bandage on your leg." Thorin continued.

"I'm fine." Fili said automatically.

Thorin ignored him and set to work unwrapping the partially bloodstained bandage above his knee anyway. Fili shut his eyes again and settled in for the inevitable.

He almost asked when he could see Kili, but already knew Thorin wouldn't give him a solid answer. "Uncle?" he said softly.

"Yes?"

"When you see Kili, can you tell him…" Fili thought for a moment, "Tell him that he's a stupid reckless fool who should have done what I told him to do and not run after me." He smiled and kept going. "And he's going to give me gray hair before I'm a hundred because I have to worry so much about him."

Thorin chuckled. "He's not the only one we have to worry about."

"Runs in the family." Fili stopped to wince when Thorin applied a new dressing. "But also tell him that I love him, and that he has to hurry up and get better so we can explore the mountain."

Thorin startled wrapping up the wound again, smiling faintly. That had been his and Frerin's favorite pastime when they were lads. Whenever they could sneak away and explore some seldom-used passageway, they did. Both of them had been even younger during the battle of Azanulbizar than Fili and Kili were now.

"Fili?" he asked, but Fili didn't answer. Thorin looked up to see that he had fallen asleep, a half-smile still on his face. Thorin stood up and tucked the blankets back around him.

The thought of sleep suddenly overwhelmed him. He'd hardly slept after the battle. He couldn't remember when he'd slept before it.

He made himself comfortable on one of the other unoccupied beds. The day was drawing to a close, and the rest of the company was resting as well. Sleep came quickly, and Thorin drifted into a world of hazy dreams.

_The crack of thunder woke him up, and Thorin swore quietly. I moment later, the door was flung open and a little shape stood silhouetted in the doorway. _

_Thorin blinked. "Fili? What's wrong?"_

_The little dwarfling scrambled towards the bed at the next peal of thunder. "I-I had a bad dweam, Uncle." He whimpered, hugging himself tightly against the cold chill. "I didn't wanta wake up Mama. Can I sleep with you?" Dis was often awake at night with Kili crying, so Thorin could guess why Fili had sought comfort with him. _

_Thorin wondered if he had actually had a bad dream or if he was just scared of the storm. But he said yes and made room for Fili anyway. His nephew immediately snuggled up against him and closed his eyes tightly. _

"_Do you want to tell me about your dream, Fili?" Thorin asked softly. Fili shook his head without opening his eyes. Thorin could guess what it was about. For a seven-year-old to watch their father die was indeed traumatic. _

"_Uncle Thorin? Do you worry about Kili?" a sleepy voice asked a moment later. _

"_I do, yes, and you should too. That's what big brothers are supposed to do"_

_Fili wrinkled his nose. "How would you know?" _

_Thorin sighed. "Because I had a little brother once." _

"_What happened?" _

_Thorin was quiet for a long moment. "Do you remember what I told you about orcs?" He felt rather than saw Fili nodding. "They killed him during a battle," He said quietly. _

_Fili squeezed his arm. "I'm sorry, Uncle," He whispered seriously. A moment later he yawned and Thorin smiled. _

"_Goodnight, sleepy-head," He said softly. _

"'_Night, Uncle," He murmured._

* * *

**Ending on a fluffy note this time! **

**A lot of you guys had questions about Oin's surgury idea from last chapter. Based on his inexperience, that was fabricated for the story. (But I didn't want to give spoilers last chapter by telling you guys that!) and thankfully mostly abandonded. **

**My rational for Gandalf being able to heal Kili: Tolkien tells us he did heal Gwaihir (Of Great Eagle Fame) from a poisoned arrow wound. And movie-wise, he basically brought Thorin back to life. So either way, Gandalf has SOME healing power. **

**Thank you for reading, and please tell me what you think!:) **


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry (again) for the wait. And the fact that this chapter is a lot of tying up of loose ends and stuff. But there are still some fluff and feels and plot advancing, it just moves a little slower. Thank you guys for the reviews last chapter, glad everyone liked it! **

**Finally some Kili POV, since we haven't heard from him since chapter four. Please enjoy! **

"Kili? Wake up."

A soft voice. Gentle and tender, but still carrying authority. "Can you hear me, Kili?"

Thorin hadn't spoken to him like this since he was little. At least it didn't hurt quite so bad to breathe now. His ribs were quite sore though, so even if his lungs didn't hurt with every breath, his ribs did.  
He was tired. He just wanted to go back to sleep. It was too much effort to open his eyes.

Another voice broke in. "Kili, lad, I gave you some herbs to knock you out. They should be wearing off by now."

That was Oin. Where was Fili? Why hadn't he said anything? Kili desperately thought back to the last time he had seen Fili. Above him, on the other side of the ice, looking like his situation was hopeless? He vaguely remembered flashes of vivid pain. The cold water and the light fading. Struggling to breathe. And, in the darkness, always trying to find his brother.

Could something have happened to him? The thought alone fully woke him up. He forced his eyes to open.

"Where's Fili?" He mumbled, turning his head to look at his uncle.

"Fili's fine. He's with the others." Thorin assured him. "They're fine too." He was quick to add.

Kili relaxed let his eyes slip closed again. It was too hard to keep them open. "W-what happened?" he managed quietly.

"You had water in your lungs." Thorin spoke quietly. "We tried to-"

Oin cut Thorin off. "Let me tell him, Thorin. It's my fault." He addressed Kili, "Lad, I thought I could operate and fix the problem myself. But it ended up botched and your uncle had to get the wizard. He saved your life."

Kili wanted to ask about Fili and make sure he wasn't hurt too bad. And he suddenly remembered Tauriel. She'd been left alone with Bolg. What had happened to her? But it was too much effort to form the words.

"How're feeling, lad?" Oin asked after a beat of silence.

"Bad." Kili responded softly.

Thorin snorted. "I think he'll be just fine, Oin. His attitude's back."

"Ribs hurt." Kili opened his eyes again. "Azog slammed me around a little." One look at Thorin's face told him all he needed to know. Azog was dead.  
Kili reached his hand out from underneath the blankets and his finger's grazed Thorin's. He found his uncle's hand.

"Fili wanted me to tell you that you should have done what you were told to. I believe he called you a reckless fool, and claimed you make him worry too much." Kili smirked at that, and Thorin continued, "And he sends his love. And wants you back to your old self as soon as possible."

Kili swallowed. He felt so weak he didn't know if that was even possible.

Thorin let go of his hand and stood up. "You should rest, Kili," he said gently.

"It's cold, Uncle." Kili shut his eyes again. He'd been awake for only a few minutes, but he was suddenly exhausted. Thorin put another blanket on the bed and stepped back.

Kili suddenly didn't want him to go. He was safe when Thorin was around. "Please don't leave," he whispered. "Stay with me, Uncle."

Thorin eased back down in the chair by Kili's bed, glancing around. Oin had made himself scarce after assuring himself that Kili was alright. He couldn't very well refuse.

His nephew opened one eye, as if to make sure Thorin was there. He shut it again. "Knew you'd take care of me," he mumbled sleepily. They had come so close to losing him. Too close.

He watched Kili breathe in and out. It was a relief not to hear the rattling, raspy sound he'd made earlier. He owed Gandalf everything, and not for the first time.

Kili looked so small and helpless, like a dwarfling. Perhaps it was better not to love him. It would be easier that way, if something happened. Thorin had tried, tried to keep himself from hurt. But Kili didn't even have to do anything to make that fatherly, protective feeling flare up again. Once given, love was too hard to take away.

He was asleep now. Thorin got up again. They should move him into the other room. Now that he was on the mend, it would be better to have him with the others. And that way he could keep Fili down.

* * *

Fili's head shot up at the slightest sound coming from where Kili was. He immediately regretted the action after a fresh round of pain shot through his head. There was still no sign of his brother, and Thorin had forbidden him to get up earlier.

His uncle had left that morning after Kili had woken up. He'd briefly told Fili how he was, and then said he needed to see Dain. The rest of the company well enough had gone with him.

He glanced around the room. Dwalin had insisted he was well enough to get up, and Thorin had left him watching over Kili. Since both of his brothers were reasonably well, Dori was getting much-needed sleep. On the other side of the room, Gloin and Oin were resting as well.

In a room full of brothers, and without his own, Fili was feeling horribly lonely.

He didn't want to wake anyone up, but he was pretty sure Ori was awake. They were next to each other, but the young scribe had his back to him.

"Ori?" he whispered, hoping Dori's snores were enough to cover up the noise.

To his relief, Ori rolled over to face him. "You weren't asleep, were you?" Fili asked.

Ori shook his head. "No, but Dori told me not to wake anyone up."

Fili hid his simle. He, Kili and Ori had all grown up a lot on the journey, but he thought the two younger dwarves still had a long way to go sometimes. "I thought no one could be worse than my mother, but Oin and Thorin won't hardly let me move."

Ori grinned. "You should try living with Dori."

They were quiet for a moment before Fili spoke up. "So, what happened to you?"

Ori fell silent again. "I got shot in the shoulder," he said quietly. "Got knocked over, and a dead warg fell on top of me. Guess I got lucky."

"What happened to your arm?" Fili asked, seeing his friend's arm in a sling.

"I broke it on the way down. Thankfully, it's my left or else I couldn't write or draw or anything." He made it sound like it was the end of the word, and Fili couldn't help but smile.

"I heard you saved Nori's life."

"Not exactly," Ori said, humble as usual. With a bit of prodding, he divulged the story. "Dori made me promise to stay with him or Nori…" He looked a little sheepish all of the sudden, and Fili was quick to reassure him.

"I made Kili promise the same thing."

Looking a little more sure of himself, Ori continued. "I got separated from Dori, but I was still with Nori. I killed one of those…_things_ and when I looked up, Nori was on the ground and an orc was about to kill him. I guess I didn't think, I just grabbed one of the swords from the ground and killed the orc." He paused. "I'm not sure I've ever been so scared in my life." Fili nodded in agreement, and Ori quickly continued. "What about you? Dori was his usual vague self."

"Nothing that bad," Fili said, playing it down. He gave Ori a quick run-down of what had happened. The whole time, Ori's eyes were wide. Fili shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like being the center of attention, and he especially didn't want to sound like he was bragging.

The two kept talking until Gloin grumbled that they were too loud from the other side of the room. Fili offered a sheepish apology, inwardly thankful that at least one of the injured members of the company was doing well.

Fili doubted he could sleep again, but realized he had when he was shaken awake by his uncle. He started to ask about the meeting with Dain when he saw a familiar dark head through half-opened eyes. "Kili!"

Sure enough, his brother had been moved into the bed next to his. Fili couldn't contain the grin spreading across his face. Kili hardly looked much better than the last time Fili had seen him, but at least he was here. He propped himself up on one elbow and glanced up at Thorin, who watched him with some vague amusement. "How is he?"

"The same since the last time you asked. He's still asleep, and he needs to rest as much as possible."

"Aye, lad, but at least you can look for yourself instead of asking about him all the time." Dwalin chimed in from the foot of the bed.

Fili's grin broadened. A quick glance around the room confirmed that most of the others were awake and seemed to be doing well. Oin was bustling around checking on his patients. Perhaps this nightmare was finally coming to an end.

Before he could try to ask again about the meeting, there was a groan from the other bed. Kili stirred. "You shout loud enough to wake the dead sometimes, Fee."

Thorin shot Fili a glance that was only half-disapproving.

"Sorry, brother," Fili said. Every fiber of his being wanted to get out of bed and just hug his brother for being alive. "But it's about time you woke up. I haven't had a decent conversation with you since we were locked up in Mirkwood."

Kili opened his eyes and smiled. "Glad you're alright too."

"Does your chest still hurt?" Thorin asked.

Kili nodded. "When I breathe, mostly."

"You have no idea how worried we were," Fili said, swallowing hard. "You gave all of us a scare—and more than once."

He was so unbelievably glad to see his brother awake, but remembering what could have happened still terrified him. He could still see the shallow cut across Kili's throat where Azog's knife had been.

Thorin sat on the foot of Fili's bed and glanced at the two of them. "I almost saw both of you die right before my very eyes." He looked down, and Fili realized he was composing himself. "Do not make me loose you again…I do not think I could bear it."

Oin hurried over a moment later, interrupting the awkward silence that had fallen. Fili knew his uncle loved him, but he rarely talked like that. He was always left not knowing what to do.

Kili dutifully answered Oin's questions, while Fili and Thorin looked on. Fili could see his brother was exhausted. He might have been asleep all day, but it was clear he was weak. Gandalf might have practically done a miracle keeping him alive, but he still had a long way to go.

Now, let's see about you, Fili," Oin said when he was done with Kili.

"I'll be fine," Fili said quickly, prompting Oin and Thorin to exchange glances.

"Does your head still hurt?" Oin continued. Fili was about to say no, but Thorin had evidentially been listening because he sent Fili a look that said tell him the truth. Reluctantly, Fili nodded and winced at the pain the action caused.

"Well, that's to be expected."

Oin cleaned the wounds on his back and leg and changed the bandages Fili didn't attempt to protest; he knew enough to know that they needed to be taken care of. He was glad when Thorin and Oin left him and Kili in relative privacy.

As soon as they were alone, Fili turned to his brother. "Mahal, Kili..."

Kili opened his mouth, and then closed it. He looked so weak and helpless, unable to even sit up. And he was never speechless. Guilt suddenly crushed Fili and his shoulders sagged. "I'm so sorry, little brother," Fili said.

Kili shook his head. "'S not your fault."

"You shouldn't have gone after me. We shouldn't have split up. I—" His voice cracked and Fili stopped.

"They were going to kill you, Fee. I thought you were dead." Kili pursed his lips. "Do you know what that's like?"

"Yes," Fili's voice dropped to a whisper. "I do. But seeing you like this now…it's hard, Kili. "

Kili smirked. "You've always been overprotective." He stretched out his arm towards Fili, across the space between their beds.

Fili reached out and grabbed the outstretched hand. Kili's grasp was startlingly weak. Fili swallowed back the hurt. "I love you, Kee. You're not allowed to die on me, alright?"

"I'll try." He squeezed Fili's hand a little tighter. "Love you too. Just don't do that again."

"Do what?"

"Separate us. Send me away from the danger while you go straight for it." Mirth sparkled in his tired eyes. "In the tunnels, you said you had it. You _didn't._"

"The Line of Durin isn't that easily broken," Fili whispered back. "Hey, you should get some rest. You'll need it when we explore the mountain."

It was enough to make him smile.

* * *

The tent was pitch black when Fili woke up. He'd fallen asleep right after Kili had. He was exhausted just from talking, it seemed. He opened his eyes, trying to figure out what had woken him.

He heard a familiar whimper from his left, then the sound of struggling. It was Kili. He heard a keening moan. His brother was in the throes of a nightmare by the sound of it.

Fili didn't think, he just did. The room spun dangerously when he got up, but another whimper from Kili moved him the short distance to kneel at his brother's side. Kili, wake up," he whispered. He shook him gently. "Kili!"

Kili let out another moan and tried to push away Fili's arm. "Come on, wake up!" Fili hissed, trying to wake anyone else up but his brother.

Kili suddenly relaxed and his eyes flew open. His brow furrowed. "Nightmare?" Fili asked.

Kili nodded. "Azog…the river," he squeaked, his voice hoarse. Fili's grip on Kili's arm tightened protectively, and he suddenly realized that something was wrong. He put his hand on Kili's forehead. It was hot. His heart sank.

"You have a fever," he whispered. Kili's eyes widened. Fever meant could easily kill him in his current state. Fili's heart was pounding. He couldn't deal with this. "I'm getting Thorin. Don't move."

He stood up, scanning the room for his uncle. It was dark, but on the journey he'd grown pretty adept at picking out the silhouettes of the company. Every bed was filled, but Thorin wasn't here. He remembered the other room. "Just hold on, Kili."

His entire body protesting, Fili moved quietly through the tent. Dizziness assailed him, and remembered all of his uncle's warnings as the pain in his head intensified. He pushed the flap aside and confirmed his uncle was sleeping in the other room. He'd always gone to Thorin as a dwarfling when he was scared in the middle of the night. Kili had usually gone too, although he'd always sought out Fili first. He _needed _Thorin to take over. Fili knew he couldn't deal with this alone. In the back of his mind, somehow Thorin could make everything better.

His legs shaking, he leaned down. "Uncle, wake up." _Please. I need you. _

"Fili? What's wrong?" Thorin mumbled sleepily, although he was already sitting up.

"It's Kili. He has a fever. I don't know what to do."

Thorin swore and was out of bed almost before Fili finished speaking.

"He had a nightmare, and I woke him up, and then I realized." He realized he was rambling but couldn't stop. "Uncle, he could die if he has an infection and there isn't anything we can do and Mahal, this is my fault, and—"

"Fili, calm down." Thorin put his hands on Fili's shoulders and looked at him through the dim light. "You didn't try to drown him. None of this is your fault."

Fili felt tears gathering in his eyes. He blinked them back and looked away. He just wanted everything to be back to normal.

Thorin pulled him into a hug, and Fili squeezed his eyes shut and practically hung on for dear life. "Fili, I promised you Kili would be fine, and I intend to keep that promise. I will do everything in my power to make sure Kili lives."

**Thanks for reading guys, please review and tell me what you thought and I'll love you forever! (and forgive my hopefully-brief love affair with extra-long sentences this chapter).**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you guys so much for being amazing and reviewing last chapter! This one isn't quite as long as the last couple, and please forgive any mistakes since I'm low on time to proofread :) Somewhat different style this chapter, so tell me what you think! Please enjoy.**

They stayed with Kili through the remainder of the night.

He dozed on and off, shivering almost constantly. It brought back memories of Ravenhill. Every time he woke, Kili would whimper that he was cold and ask for a blanket. He was piled with them and the room was warm, and still he shivered. There was nothing Thorin or Fili could do.

Fili refused to leave Kili's side, although Thorin didn't ask him to. His uncle alternately cursed his folly at moving Kili into the main room so soon, and comforting his nephew.

Neither of them wanted to wake Oin or anyone else. The old healer had scarcely rested since the battle, and Kili wasn't dying yet. Fili wanted to ask if Dain could help, but he knew there were many dwarves in the army from the Iron Hills hurt and suffering worse than his brother. No other dwarves could be spared, not even for a prince. They all knew that.

Fili didn't want to ask about the elves and men and knew Thorin would want to even less than him. He wished his mother was here. She always knew what to do.

At least Kili wasn't delirious. He fully understood what was going on. Although, Fili realized, maybe that wasn't such a good thing after all.

At one point, after Thorin told him he wasn't going to get warmer no matter what they did, Kili asked in a small, quivering voice, "Am I going to die, Uncle?"

Both Thorin and Fili forgot to whisper when they insisted he wasn't.

It was a relief when the first rays of light showed at dawn. Fili's head pounded, and his wounds just plain hurt. He was exhausted, but he knew that even if he left Kili to sleep, it wouldn't come.

When he'd sent Kili away before, in the tunnels, his brother had been captured and almost killed. He'd slept, and woken to a fever and infection weakening his already weak brother. He wasn't going anywhere.

It was just after dawn when Thorin woke Oin. He was grateful they had let him sleep, but in the same breath said they should have woken him.

His diagnosis was pneumonia.

"His wounds are healing well, thankfully," he explained. "Gandalf did wonders, but he couldn't keep his lungs from infection. Not that it's a surprise. Inhaling water almost always leads to pneumonia." Oin shook his head sadly. "I do know that much."

Fili gripped his brother's hand. Kili had slept deeply for a while before dawn, but he'd been awake for Oin's examination. He sent a glance Fili's way, and the older dwarf's heart almost broke at the look on his brother's face. He looked so scared. _Fili, I don't want to die_.

Fili swallowed. Hard.

"Lad, I know you said your ribs were hurting," Oin said to Kili.

He nodded. "When I breathe." His voice came out sounding incredibly feeble and quiet.

"Do your lungs hurt too?"

Slowly, Kili nodded. "Yes, I guess so."

Oin looked at Thorin. "That's probably why none of us noticed. All of us, Kili included, thought it was just bruised ribs."

Kili shivered again and looked down. Fili felt like a fool. His grip on his brother tightened.

Oin gave Kili some herbs to help him sleep, and they covered him back up again. He went off to get something else from the Iron Hills dwarves, and took Thorin with him. Fili was left with his brother.

"Fee, I'm so cold," Kili said, his eyes shut.

"You have a fever. It'll give you chills," Fili tried to sound calm, like their mother always did when she explained this sort of thing. "But a fever is your body's way to fight off an infection."

Again, Kili reached out from under the blankets and found his hand. "Please stay with me. I don't want to be by myself."

"Of course I will, Kee. I'm not going anywhere," Fili assured his brother, and Kili managed a small smile. He had always told Fili he was predictable.

Thankfully, within half an hour, he was sleeping peacefully. Oin returned, without Thorin. He sat next to Fili and was quiet for a while.

"Fili, I know you aren't going to listen to me, but you should really be in bed. You took a bad bump to the head, and you should rest. And aggravate those wounds as little as possible."

Fili shrugged. His body could tell him that. Oin sighed, but didn't force the issue. "Where's Thorin?"

"He went back to see Dain and some of the others. I'm not sure he wants to see your brother like this all over again."

"H-he's not going to die, is he? Oin?" Fili barely managed the question, and it rushed out.

"If he was strong, and healthy, he'd be fine," Oin sighed.

"But?" Fili pressed, not wanting to know but needing to anyways.

"You know he's weak. From the battle and all that happened then. He was wounded, and that's no small thing for anyone. He almost bled out, and would have if Gandalf hadn't have been here."

Fili waited, his stomach in knots and heart sinking. "He might not have strength to fight this off, lad. But Kili is quite a fighter, and he's always been stubborn. You know that better than anyone. We'll do all we can, but I can make no promises."

* * *

At least the rest of the company was well, Fili thought. Dwalin hadn't been able to stay down for long, and he was practically fine now. Nori and Gloin were on the mend, it seemed. The company stayed gathered in the tent. Thorin was the exception. He stayed away. Balin mentioned he was meeting with Dain and Gandalf and possibly others.

At least Kili slept for now. There were no more nightmares, and he slept deeply. Fili smiled at how he slept with his mouth open.

But the effects of pneumonia couldn't just be shut out. Fili could see the sheen of sweat on his otherwise shivering brother. He shook with shuddering chills occasionally, and while Kili remained in a drug-induced sleep, Fili could not shut them out so easily. He could not escape the fact that his little brother's body was steadily weakening. So he refused to leave.

Throughout the day, the others took turns sitting vigil with him. First it was Balin, who sat next to him quietly, only speaking to answer Fili's question about Thorin.

When he left, he patted Fili's shoulder. "Don't give up hope yet, laddie." Fili's lips twitched into a half-hearted smile of thanks.

Bilbo was next. Fili was almost surprised to see him since he'd been with Gandalf so much recently. They talked about everything but the battle. It was a subject that everyone avoided when they could, Fili had noticed. He'd also long-ago noticed that the hobbit had the talent of rambling on and on about something absolutely trivial, but he'd come to appreciate that talent. While Bilbo instructed him on the finer points of his mother's lace doilies, or who grew the best something-or-other in the Shire, Fili could focus on something besides his brother.

Bofur came a little later, and Bilbo excused himself politely once Fili had another companion. For once, Bofur was quiet, humming and whittling a block of wood instead of talking and joking. Bifur joined them, and although it was quiet, Fili was glad to have them. The message was clear. He was not alone.

Oin came back to check on Kili. He put his hand on Kili's forehead and frowned. "Fever's going up."

As if in response to the healer's words, Kili's brow furrowed. Fili bit his lip.

"We need to keep his temperature down. I'll be right back." Fili nodded to confirm he'd heard. He didn't really know what to say, anyhow.

Oin returned with a bowl of water and some cloths. With a tenderness that came with seventy-seven years of practice, he laid a wet cloth across Kili's damp forehead.

He turned his attention back to Fili. "You should get some rest."

He wouldn't have mentioned it, but his headache was getting pretty bad. "Alright. I guess he'll be the same whether or not I watch him sleep."  
"Aye, lad. That's true," Oin chuckled.

"Wake me if Thorin gets back."

Fili closed his eyes, hoping that blocking the light might stop his headache even if he couldn't sleep. He dozed lightly, waking when someone-Dori, he thought, judging by the muttering,-covered him with a blanket.

He awoke when Kili called out his name, but realized he was only talking in his sleep. Thorin still wasn't back yet, and Dwalin had joined him at Kili's bedside.

"Did he wake you?" Dwalin asked, not turning to look at him.  
"Yes, but I'd slept long enough. I don't mind." Part of him wanted to bring up the battle, and thank Dwalin for what he did, but the other part of him didn't want to bring it up. He'd rather keep it locked away.

"You know, lad, when your brother was a babe, he got very sick," Dwalin started, finally turning to look at Fili. "I suppose you knew that already."

Fili smiled wryly. "I remember. He used to be so small and helpless, it wasn't all that surprising."  
"It wasn't long after your father died that he caught influenza. Now, had Kili been strong and healthy, he probably would have been fine. But he wasn't. Your mother was beside herself. I remember coming over at your uncle's request. Oin had just left, and said there was nothing to do but pray for a miracle.

"Dis was with Kili, and you were with Thorin. You asked him why everyone was upset, and he did his best to explain that your brother might die. And you just stuck out your lip and said, 'But, Uncle, he's a Durin! Durins are stubborn. Kili isn't going to die.' Sure enough, that little baby pulled through and lived." He smiled sadly at the fond memory, and Fili was shocked to see his old teacher's wet eyes.

"I hope that it'll turn out like that this time too, Mister Dwalin," Fili whispered.

"Aye, I think it will."

* * *

It was nearer to evening when Kili woke. "How're you feeling, brother?" Fili asked, stifling a yawn.

Kili shuddered and burrowed under the blankets even more. "I'm cold," He muttered. He struggled to sit up, and Fili jumped up to help him. Kili pulled the wet cloth from his forehead. Anyone could look at him and see he was in pain. "Where's Uncle?"

"With Dain, I think," Fili said, hearing a trace of bitterness creeping into his voice. How could Thorin just leave at a time like this? Kili needed him-and Fili did too.

Kili sighed, and Fili realized tears were pooling in his brother's eyes. He clenched his fist. Kili had been through so much, and all it took was the least little thing for him to crack.

"Hey, Kee, it's okay." He did the only thing he could think off and got up to sit next to Kili. Immediately the younger dwarf leaned against him. He settled his arm around Kili's shoulders.

It didn't matter that putting any weight on his back hurt; right now he just wanted to comfort his brother. Kili buried his face in his shoulder, and Fili heard a muffled sob that came out as a hiccup.

He drew in a ragged breath, and started coughing. "Kili, just breathe," Fili whispered. Hadn't they already been through this? The cough was different, harsher somehow. It subsided quickly, but Fili knew it would be back.

"Hurts to breathe," he whimpered, still muffled against Fili's shoulder. "I just wanna go home." Fili didn't tell him that, technically, they were home.

Fili squeezed his one-armed hug a little tighter and changed the subject. "Remember that one time we built a treehouse in the woods? And Uncle didn't know where we were and went looking for us, and we jumped out and scared him?"

Kili nodded, almost hitting Fili in the chin with his head. He just lifted it higher. "And remember when those bullies were picking on Ori so we waited until it was dark and got uncle's cape and you sat on my shoulders and we scared them so bad we had them all in tears?"  
He felt Kili's smile against his arm. "I guess home is where family is, right, Fee?" He whispered, lifting his head. Fili glanced around. Their uncle wasn't back yet, but they were surrounded by dwarves who loved them. Who cared enough to just make sure they weren't lonely.

"You're exactly right."

**Goodness brother feels are just the most painful sometimes. Not the best place to end, but I figured I'd stop here bc the next segment is pretty long. And thanks to NenYim for telling me that almost every victim of drowning who inhales water will probably get pneumonia! **

**Thanks so much for reading, please review! **


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm back! And it's certainly about time, right? I started working and I had absolutely no inspiration but I'm finally back at it again! Hopefully you guys are still with me. Thanks for the all the lovely reviews last chapter and especially to those who reviewed whenever they finished in the last few months, you guys really encouraged me to start this up again! **

**This one starts right where the last one ends. Also contains some shameless family feels. I just can't help myself. Forgive any mistakes, please! **

Kili fell back asleep quickly, settling back down. Fili stayed where he was, Kili's leg pillowed against his leg. He could at least feel each breath, assuring him that his brother was still alive.

He watched Kili, taking comfort in the small movements that his usually rambunctious brother made. Eyelids twitching occasionally. Wrinkling his nose every so often, as if he could disdain a dream. The intermittent curling and uncurling of his fingers.

He hadn't realized how much he'd missed his brother. They'd been together since the company had left Mirkwood, but ever since the battle Kili had not been Kili.

There were no cracked jokes, puppy eyes or stupid grins that made Fili grin right back. No roaring laughter, no pranks, no snickering at Bilbo. Instead, his brother was bloody, half-dead or hopelessly weak and helpless, the life draining out of him slowly. If he was going to die soon, the last memories Fili would have of him would be those.

He remembered the promise he'd made to his mother long ago. _It's your job to take care of him, always. _

Before they had left, she had hugged him for almost ten minutes, making sure he knew that Kili was his responsibility. He'd rolled his eyes and insisted that he knew and he'd watch out for Kili. What a fool he'd been.

He clenched his fist. A lot of good that promise had been. Just look at Kili now. He hadn't done what he'd sworn to do, what he needed to do beyond anything. He had to look out for Kili. That was his job, and he'd screwed it up.

He just wanted his brother back, the way Kili was before the battle. Except maybe a little less stupid and reckless. His arm tightened around Kili's chest. He'd survived the battle, he'd survived Azog. He wasn't going to let his brother die from pneumonia. That was no longer an option.

* * *

He was still awake long after the other dwarves had finally gone to sleep. Kili was still asleep, his head hot against Fili's shoulder and his breath raspy and harsh.

He waited until he heard quiet rustling in the outer part of the tent, where Thorin had slept the night before. He quietly got up, and, limping slightly, made his way to the back.

"Fili? What are you doing here?" Thorin asked, looking up when Fili entered.

"Kili asked for you earlier. I had to tell him you weren't around, that you had to meet with Dain, and that it was more important."

He kept his voice low, but the words came out harsher and more bitter than he intended.

Thorin sighed at sat down wearily on the bed. "Fili, that's not it. I—"

"No, Thorin, it is. Dain would have waited. He's your cousin, he would have understood."

"We are not in Ered Luin anymore, Fili," Thorin's tone was harsher now, like it had been before the battle when he was obsessed with finding the Arkenstone. "I have other duties."

Fili's jaw clenched. "More important than your kin? Than Kili? Don't you even care about him? Or because you're king now he doesn't matter as much anymore?" His head was really starting to pound again.

Thorin met his eyes for the first time. He shook his head. "That's not true, and you know it."

"Then why did you just leave us today? Kili needed you, and you were gone. How could you do that?" He didn't add that he too needed his uncle. "He may not have that much time left, and you're not even around. Do you really care that little that you can't even be there _while he's dying?_"

Thorin was on his feet in an instant. "You think I don't care? That is the furthest thing from the truth, Fili. I left today because I could not bear to see him like this." Thorin shook his head. "I should not have brought either of you with me. You would be safe right now if you were back in the Blue Mountains." He looked up at Fili. "You're right; if I truly cared I could have left you with your mother. This is my doing. I'm so sorry, Fili."  
They were quiet for a long while, neither speaking.

"Uncle, you promised me he would be okay. But he isn't. He isn't." Fili's voice cracked, and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. "I-I just need…I need you to be there. I don't want to go through this alone. The others are there, but they're not you. Please, Uncle…" he suddenly didn't care that tears were running down his cheeks, or that Thorin was seeing him so unhinged. "I can't lose him. I can't."

Thorin grabbed his arm, and Fili looked at him. He realized he was now almost as tall as his uncle. Thorin had always seemed so impossibly tall to him as a child.

"I lost my brother, Fili, and it is the worst thing I have ever gone through. I will not have to go through the same."

Fili grabbed onto Thorin's sleeve, his fingers clenching the fabric so tightly his knuckles turned white. He had to trust Thorin. He always had. When Thorin told him everything was going to be alright, it always was.

He nodded slowly. He'd been so angry at Thorin earlier, but the anger was gone. Hope flooded through him. He wasn't going to be alone, Thorin would be with him.

Thorin squeezed his arm and let go. Fili attempted a small smile. "I'm sorry I was mad. I just—"

"It's okay, Fili."

"Uncle, I really am glad you brought us with you," he said in a small voice, realizing he sounded halfway like a child and not caring. "I was so proud—Kili too-to come with you. This is what we've always dreamed about."

If he hadn't gone on the quest, he wouldn't the dwarf he was now. He didn't have to tell that to Thorin for him to understand. He'd grown and learned so much. He'd had to protect his brother, and sometimes let him go. He'd learned from Thorin, how to be a leader. The other dwarves had become like family to him. Bilbo too. "But it's not your doing. Like you told me last night. We weren't the ones who hurt him. And even if you had left us behind, we would have followed you anyway." His small attempt at humor brought a smirk to his uncle's face.

"You need rest too. Kili wasn't the only one who was injured. I'll stay with him if you rest."  
Fili had slept half the day, and he started to protest. Thorin held up a hand. They'd been down this road many times before. "Even if you don't sleep, you could at least stay off your feet. I know we won't be able to keep you down, but we can at least try."

When Kili was hurt, it was easy to push his own injuries aside. He nodded again. When he was with Kili, he had to be the older one. That's how it was, and that's how he wanted it. But with Thorin, he didn't have to.

Thorin didn't comment on his limp when they went to rejoin Kili, but he didn't miss the concerned look.

Kili was still asleep, peaceful for once. Fili could almost think he was perfectly fine just by looking at him. But he knew his brother, and once glance could tell him everything he needed to know.

Still, it was getting harder and harder to push the throbbing ache behind his eyes away. He'd just rest a few hours, and then get back to taking care of his brother.

* * *

"Fili, laddie, wake up." The words were soft, hazy, almost as if they hadn't been spoken at all.

"Fili." This time, it was a command. The words carried authority. _Wake up!_

He opened his eyes, feeling as if they weighed a ton. Balin was staring down at him, Thorin sitting nearby between him and Kili. He sat up.

He felt like he'd been asleep forever. Groggily, he shook his head to clear it. Immediately, pain flared up for a second all he saw was stars.

"You alright, lad?" Balin asked, putting a hand on Fili's shoulder.

"W-what?" he asked. Balin started to repeat the question, but Fili interrupted. "Oh, I'm fine. How long was I asleep?"  
"All night." Thorin said. "Longest we've been able to keep you down since the battle."

"How's Kili?" Fili cast a look at the dark-haired shape curled up in the other bed. His heart wrenched at the sight. Kili looked so young and vulnerable. His knees were drawn up close to his chest, and one arm was tucked protectively around his head.

Thorin sighed. "About the same. He woke up a few times." No news was good news, Fili supposed. He shut his eyes again for a second, trying to stop the ringing in the ears by sheer will.

He opened them a moment later when Kili stirred. "Fili's 'wake?" he mumbled, and Fili almost smiled. When one of them woke, the other was rarely far behind.

"Yeah, Kee, I am now." He through his legs over the bed and leaned over towards Kili. He knew Thorin would just tell him not to if he got up, and for once he was ready to take the advice.

"How're you feeling, little brother?"

Kili shrugged halfheartedly, breaking into a coughing fit. The cough was dryer and harsher than it had been before. Thorin instantly leaned forward, helping him sit up. Fili felt a lump forming in his throat. His baby brother was too weak to even sit up on his own.

Kili attempted to take a deep breath, but it only aggravated his lungs and another round of coughing began. Thorin's arm tightened around his shoulders.

It seemed to take forever for Kili to breathe again, and it was still shallow and hoarse. He leaned heavily against Thorin, his eyes shutting again.

"Hurts, Fee," he whispered.

Fili ground his teeth together. "I know it does, Kili." Right now, he would do just about anything if he could just alleviate his brother's pain.

Thorin put his hand on Kili's forehead. "Still has a fever, but it's about the same." He looked to Fili. "Oin checked him earlier while you were sleeping. There's no infection in his wounds. The fever is from pneumonia."

Kili reached out and grabbed a handful of Thorin's shirt, much the same way Fili had done the night before. "Glad you're here, uncle," he murmured, the fever making him slightly delirious. Years ago he might've said that, but it had been a long time since either of them had made such an outward display of emotion toward Thorin.

The three of them set in silence for several minutes; Fili taking comfort in the sound of Kili's breathing and alternately cursing the fact that he was so sick.

"You should go back to sleep, Kili, you need rest."  
Kili shook his head. "Don't want to."

"Why not?"  
Kili didn't say anything. He opened his eyes and looked up at Fili, as if one look could explain.

Fili's brow furrowed. "Kili…I don't…"

But he knew his brother, and a moment later he realized. "Nightmares." He looked up at Thorin. How many times when they were little had Kili woke him up, scared and crying over a nightmare? Even when they were older, Fili could still tell when he had them. He'd always been susceptible. Of course he'd have them now. Fili should have known.

"Mahal, Kee…" He whispered. "I'm so sorry."

The right words of comfort came, they always did. "You need to sleep, you'll only get worse if you don't. We'll both be right here, Kili. You'll be safe. I'll wake you up, I promise."  
Kili let out a shaky breath, although it was hardly different from what they had been recently. "It's okay," Fili told him. Big brown eyes looked back at him, trusting. Fili wasn't going to let him down now.

Thorin helped him lie back down, and finally

Kili's eyes closed again.

First the arrow, then they'd been left behind in Laketown. When they'd reached the mountain, Thorin wasn't even himself. Things had gone wrong left and right until the battle. Then they never should have gone into the tunnels, Fili should never have left Kili alone. Maybe he could have stopped all this. And it just kept getting worse.

Everything was going wrong, it seemed. Spinning out of Fili's control, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.A

* * *

**A/N: Headcannon that the boys call Thorin "Uncle" when they need him to be and want him to take care of them, and Thorin when they are trying to be independent (or angry, in Fili's case this chapter!). If anyone was confused, hopefully that clears it up. **

**More action in the next one, this one was kinda thought-centric. More Kili to come as well. **

**Thanks so much for reading, please review! **


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